KEY POINTS:
A panicked call came through from Australia last week from a journalist given the task of rustling up some words on Brendon Diamanti ahead of the Chappell-Hadlee Trophy.
"The release says he is an allrounder but it says here that he has a batting average of 21 and a bowling average of 28," said the confused scribe, referencing Diamanti's domestic one-day stats.
There was no time for a diatribe on New Zealand's unique sliding scale where anybody who averages over 15 and gets to roll his arm over is instantly bestowed allrounder status. Instead, I could only tell him that if Diamanti was a genuine allrounder then Kyle Mills is a modern-day Keith Miller.
If only that were the most startling selection in this squad of 14 picked to wrest the Chappell-Hadlee Trophy off an Australian side that can no longer claim greatness. Diamanti, you could argue, is a straight swap for Jacob Oram, though if it were a debating society you'd be praying to land on the negative side of that proposal.
Instead the real bolter, so to speak, is Trent, er, Boult.
It is not fair to condemn a guy before he gets a chance but, back in the real world, do you really think Boult is going to contribute more to the Chappell-Hadlee cause than the experienced Chris Martin? Or is he going to get experience at international level; to immerse him in the culture of the side?
If it is the latter, what is New Zealand building for exactly? The only consideration should have been to pick the 14 players most likely to contribute to beating Australia.
Boult can obviously play, but eight domestic one-day games is no schooling to take on Australia in Australia. Ask Brendon McCullum.
"Boult is currently second in the State Shield MVP rankings. He was one of the top performers for the New Zealand under-19 side at the 2008 World Cup, with figures including a 7-20 against Malaysia," said a gushing press release.
So the players' association-inspired MVP system is now a tool for selection? Let's do away with selectors, then. A few salaries off the NZC books can't hurt. And that 7-20 against Malaysia should hold him in good stead against the likes of Ricky Ponting. Phew.
Again, this is nothing against Boult, whom many better judges than I predict will have a long and distinguished career in national colours. But save us the spiel.
The selectors have had a great past couple of months - Tim McIntosh and Martin Guptill, anyone? - but maybe they think that any name they draw out of the hat now will make them look like geniuses.
That's nonsense, of course, but then again so is a team that looks like it's been picked by a couple of guys who've spent the past few weeks getting on the ran-tan at the beach. Hang on a minute...
