Richard Boock: Where were you when ...

These have been anxious times for all those who thought they understood the natural order of life.

It wasn't so long ago that the world must have seemed a predictable and uneventful place; a sort of Pleasantville where folks knew where they stood, knew what was expected of them, and above all appreciated the futility of trying to change anything.

Some things just were.

There wasn't any point in trying to explain or analyse, or protesting about the unfairness of it all. It was just accepted. Auckland trains would always be late. Helen Clark would never laugh at herself. Chris Cairns would be injured.

So you can imagine the wholesale confusion that reigned yesterday morning when the cricketing world (or at least those who weren't watching live) awoke to discover that England had regained the Ashes.

For red-blooded Australians this must have been a bewildering experience, blinking at a sun that kept rising in the sky, despite the fact they knew the unspeakable had occurred, and that the world was collapsing around their ears.

With apologies to PG Wodehouse, these are the people who gave England about as much chance as a "one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle".

They probably didn't even give them that much of a chance.

Certainly, the British sports betting industry didn't see it coming. They had written off England after the Lord's test at 9-1 longshots, a lack of faith that ultimately cost them more than £3 million.

And just to make things even more bizarre, news reports yesterday claimed that New Zealand umpire Billy Bowden managed to leave the Oval without souveniring the urn or even seeking the autographs of actors Hugh Grant or Penelope Keith.

Just how strange can life get?

This remember, was the man who grabbed a stump after Steve Waugh's farewell test and the match ball after England's vein-popping win at Edgbaston, a game that swung on his professional judgment and decision-making.

Baited on the morning of the first day by gormless television commentator Tony Greig, Bowden at least had the last laugh yesterday with a superb spell of umpiring, at the same time confirming his stature as one of the three best officials in the game.

Without doubt, his finest moment came when he somehow detected that a rearing, spitting delivery from Glenn McGrath had brushed the shoulder of man-of-the-match Kevin Pietersen, and hadn't made contact with his bat or glove.

It was the decisive moment of the test for both teams, a split-second of orchestrated chaos that, had Bowden erred, would have given Australia a stranglehold over their hosts, and quite possibly changed the series.

For all that, the true heroes of this series were two players, a pair of individuals who attempted to change each game through a combination of their own rare talent and their sheer determination to prevail.

Shane Warne was without peer and through much of the series almost seemed to be playing the English on his own, whether he was tormenting their batsmen with the ball, or frustrating their bowlers with the bat.

But the irony is that he dropped a sitter off Pietersen when he was just 15, and later retired to the boundary where the fans began chanting, "Warnie dropped the Ashes".

As well as he played, however, his contribution was trumped by that of Andy "Freddie" Flintoff, who invariably came to the party with either bat or ball.

Yes, it was a compelling team performance from England, in which various players took an opportunity to shine at different stages of the series, and to leave their mark, however temporary, on proceedings.

But when you boil it all down, Flintoff's incredible capacity for making things happen ensured his team would not only break their drought against Australia, but return the groove back into English cricket.

These were Freddie's Ashes.