KEY POINTS:
Stephen Fleming says the team just didn't play well enough, didn't correctly assess the conditions or whatever, and therefore suffered a historic defeat at the hands of Mr Montaza and his little friends.
But I have another theory.
Bodyslamming.
I don't think the game was actually broadcast anywhere yesterday but had it been screened and had anyone in New Zealand been up at 2am to watch it, viewers would have seen a frequent display of bodyslamming going on out there on the pitch.
It happened a lot after a wicket. Scott Styris and Shane Bond to name but a few were very keen on it.
Take wicket, throw hands in air in jubilation, run towards nearest team mate and jump madly into the air in order to connect with the team mate who has also jumped madly into the air.
Like batting and bowling, it was obviously a key part of the Black Caps game.
Remember Mehrts and Marshall used to celebrate a try with a backhanded high five thing?
The Black Caps' bodyslamming is the evolution of that.
But if it isn't done properly it can upset the metaphysics of proceedings and I fear this is what happened yesterday.
Ungainly liftoffs, bad connections, wonky landings….. it can just lead to trouble and surprise losses.
I went to the team's pool training session this morning but they weren't working on their slam technique, which made me wonder if perhaps they've dropped the strategy for something more sedate, like the Bangladeshi hand shakes or Liverpool kisses.
Or maybe the landscape they were training in (a pool overlooking a white sandy beach, palm trees, turquoise sea) just made them forget all about yesterday's deficiencies.
Like the 3500 fans who have tickets to Friday's game against Sri Lankan, I look forward to finding out.
