KEY POINTS:
A pedalo is a very dangerous animal and Andrew Freddie Flintoff should be given more credit.
Rumour has it he was trying to pedal home in despair, having gone out for a duck during the game earlier in the day.
Perhaps he thought he was a duck.
Nevertheless, he was brave to attempt a journey in the plastic pedal boat at all.
The day the story broke, which is the day Freddie was confined to his hotel, a few paparazzi-types were instructed to go forth and find him sulking on the beach.
And as they waited and waited (at the bar so as not to look like paparazzi-types despite the long lens cameras) they watched two brave tourists attempt to reinact Freddie's adventures.
A couple of differences in the scenario – they were sober, it was daylight - but one thing remained the same. The pedalo got them into big trouble.
They pedaled and pedaled but found themselves not on a happy jaunt around the bay but heading further and further from land, towards Cuba.
The pedalo was in full control.
A rescue mission was launched and local yachties ventured out to rescue the exhausted tourists from the evil clutches of the pedalo.
One yachtsman stayed behind to guide the pedalo in, but the pedalo had other ideas. It was happy with its new sacrifical lamb and soon it and its victim were a mere speck on the Caribbean Sea.
Another, bigger, yacht went to the rescue.
They lassoed the pedalo and finally brought it under control, but it took an hour to tack back into land. Like a mini America's Cup.
That's four potential victims that have got away and by now the pedalo will be an angry little beastie.
I fear that new innocent who ventures on board will not be as lucky as the tourists, or have the brave idea to simply jump off, as Freddie did.
Freddie has not been very forthcoming with exact details of his pedalo terror – and who would believe him?
But I know the truth. Freddie saved himself and therefore England's cricketing future by jumping into the sea.
His vice captaincy should be reinstated immediately and he should be made the next King of England.
