KEY POINTS:
World Cups are not just about sport. No sireeee.
They are also educational exercises and it is only thanks to the one-day cricket tournament which starts in the West Indies next week that I now know what the flag for Bermuda looks like.
For those who don't know, it looks suspiciously like the flag for England and everything you read about Bermuda makes it sound suspiciously like a suburb of England.
Not to worry, although it's very cocky of England to dilute their resources like that.
I'd forgotten Bermuda were even in the World Cup, and only stumbled across them on the official website.
What really caught my eye was a photo of players - they may have been Australian - weightlifting. We're talking real weights here - one player looked as though he was hoisting a small car engine. The gentlemen's game is no lark in the park any more.
And yet, there is still the other side to the cricket World Cup. You don't have to look like Arnie to have earned a trip to the Windies. You don't even need 300-odd games under the belt, or even 30. You can be old enough to remember floppy cotton cricket shirts, or young enough to still be at school. You might even have a day job.
Here is a first XI of cricketers to root for in the West Indies.
Inzamam-Ul-Haq
The Pakistani captain went on a diet before the last World Cup but had such a miserable time he swore himself back on the cream puffs. For anyone unfamiliar with Inzi's fielding demeanour, imagine Sleepy standing on Dopey's shoulders. Virtually made headlines last year by running England's Ian Bell out - Inzi was more famous for running himself or teammates out until then. Despite his figure, he's got decent batting figures and it's a joy to watch his mixture of power and style. You can't sneeze at his five World Cup appearances either. The imperious patron saint of park cricketers throughout the world.
Paul Nixon
The English wicketkeeper who was sent to Australia to rev up the troops and ended up starring in one of the greatest cricket upsets in history even though he scored more with his mouth than his bat. Chatted the Aussies to distraction from behind the stumps. Takes catches with the finesse of a penguin clap, but they still seem to stick. Once trained with the Leicester rugby team, including packing down with with Martin Johnson. Nutty. He's the sort of ordinary all-action bloke you should really root for, yet you also want to slap him around the chops and tell him to shut up. The 36-year-old clung for years to his England dream and eventually helped create an unlikely Aussie cricket nightmare - and you've got to love him for that.
Craig McMillan
New Zealand's specialist slogger looks like a couple of beach balls strapped together. Was gone for all money as an international cricketer until his miraculous comeback this year. Hates criticism yet it appears to be the only thing that gets him going. Who needs a sports shrink when you've got a whole nation on your back? Macca has built a career on dodgy shots. His legacy will be defined by what happens in the Windies, where he can also contribute with the ball. Has gone from joke to potential folk hero in a couple of swishes of the bat. Remarkable, and a lesson in perseverance to us all.
Lasith Malinga
The Sri Lankan side-arm fast bowler who defies history and a whole library full of coaching manuals. Malinga the Slinger learnt to bowl in beach cricket - proving that cricket castles can be built on sand. Straight out of the strange but true file - that anyone who bowls like this should also have a name that rhymes with slinger. Must have been destiny. It's a small miracle that he lands the ball in the park, and a major one that he lands it on the pitch. Yet he's got the best blockholer in the business. A headturner - especially among batsmen.
Monty Panesar
The English spinner is a crowd favourite, despite the most damning of cricket traits that he throws like a girl. Throwing like a girl, for those who don't know, is an action akin to a basketballer's slam dunk, without the venom or elevation. Okay. We might be on dangerous grounds here. Not all girls throw like a girl. But a boy who throws like a girl can be dog tucker in cricket. Yet Monty is undaunted, by this or anything else. He gives it everything with a smile on the face. Even the Aussie crowds loved him.
Dwayne Leverock
Bermuda's spin bowling star is built like a WWF wrestler who's just gone 49 enthusiastic rounds with the pudding trolley. Can turn a lazy three into a desperate single. Nicknamed "Sluggo" although this has nothing to do with his batting prowess or lack of.
Anderson Cummins
The one-time West Indian fast bowler went missing for a decade before turning up in the Canadian team this year looking two shadows of his former self. Bounces in to bowl like a runaway blancmange. Played for the Windies in the 1992 tournament. Will return home just in time for his 41st birthday - something of a World Cup oddity but still a small victory for the "life begins at 40" brigade.
George Codrington
Forty-year-olds are automatic picks in this lineup which gets around the tricky problem of asking people to root for a member of Canada's mounted kerb police. Yes, the Barbados-born Codrington is a parking warden. If he gets to play, it should be a case of revenge for the masses. He's got no form - a two ball duck against Bangladesh being the return from his last pre-tournament outing.
Friday Kasteni
Zimbabwe batter who turns 19 during the tournament, and looks about 12. His one-day history reads one match versus Bangladesh, and nine fairly pedestrian runs. His selection here is helped by an official bio which claims he "bowls left arm spin but does not turn the ball". My God. There is hope for all. Wouldn't it be lovely if this youngster made his mark.
Malachi Jones
You've got to be cheering for this chap. The 17-year-old Bermuda medium-fast bowler is just about the youngest player to ever grace the World Cup. You just hope and pray that Sachin Tendulkar, Sanath Jayasuriya and co don't blast him into oblivion.
Andrew Symonds
A shock selection. This space was being reserved for Mal Loye, the Englishman who proved that you can make it into international cricket with one shot which you always play to the wrong ball. Loye will go down in history as the man who invented the front foot hook shot which you play while kneeling down - presumably to soften the fall. But he's been removed by England, possibly for his own safety. So up steps Symonds. Yes, he's an Aussie. But Symonds is taking an extraordinary risk attempting to play with biceps that look as though they've had a makeover from Jackie Chan. Should he aggravate the injury, Symonds has been warned that he might spend the rest of his career having to throw like Monty Panesar. That's the sort of courage to inspire the masses and he is rewarded with selection in this XI.
