Cricket: England might find Patagonia a handful'

England's cricket writers mercilessly greeted their national team's new unofficial ranking as the worst test side in the world yesterday.

Writers in England's major daily newspapers echoed the chanting fans who reminded England captain Nasser Hussain of his side's ranking after New Zealand clinched the series 2-1 at the Oval yesterday.

The Independent, the Express and the Times focused on England's reaching the bottom of world cricket's test rankings, while the tabloid Daily Mirror described the series loss to New Zealand as "a nightmare."

The Daily Telegraph's Michael Henderson even questioned if England were capable of beating non cricket-playing nations.

"It is not true to say that England have the worst cricket team in the world," Henderson wrote. "Even in their current state of disrepair, they would beat the Faroe Islands and give the Costa Ricans a run for their dollars, though there are worrying reports of strapping allrounders emerging from Patagonia, and Greenland, on their ice pitches, would represent a mighty challenge."

Henderson wrote that New Zealand had climbed ahead of England in the world rankings "entirely on merit."

"For their spirit, as well as their skill, the Kiwis were cities, not just streets, ahead of the lily-livered rabble who have done service this summer as the England team."

Man of the series Chris Cairns was singled out for special praise by Henderson.

He wrote of Cairns' second innings of 80: "For sheer gumption, England had nobody within a country mile of Chris Cairns ... it was the most accomplished performance of the summer, and an experience so bracing that the whole crowd, Englishmen and New Zealanders alike, acclaimed it with joy."

Otherwise, there was again a distinct lack of credit among the English media for the New Zealand performance.

David Hopps, in the Guardian focused on England's new ranking but at least excused the 11 players who took the field for the final test.

He blamed the state of English cricket on a nation which "fails to promote physical excellence among its increasingly unfit youth, and denigrates team sports as an assault on individualism."

"It is equally the failure of a cricketing culture which has been forever reluctant to respond to trends, protects soft club cricket in the name of tradition, and persists with an overloaded first-class structure that dulls the ambitions of many who play it." - NZPA