NZ has own dark day but we're liking Australia's far more

The Newlands score board tells a sorry tale for the Black Caps on January 2, 2013. Photo / Getty Images

Watching Australia's spectacular demise for 60 all out at Trent Bridge brought the memories flooding back. Cape Town, January 2, 2013, to be precise.

One of New Zealand cricket's darkest days, dismissed for 45 by South Africa on the first day of the Brendon McCullum/Mike Hesson captain-coach axis.

It was interesting to check back and discover that New Zealand actually batted five balls longer than Australia during their shocker.

One similarity: no one saw either tumble coming.

Some comparisons.

Two Australian batsmen made double figures - Michael Clarke 10 and Mitchell Johnson 13; New Zealand had one get that far - Kane Williamson's 13.

Stuart Broad ran amok against witless Australian batting; for New Zealand it was Vernon Philander who damaged them, slicing off the first four wickets in 24 balls to end with figures of 6-3-7-5.

South Africa actually lost their first wicket before lunch. It became a three-day, innings and 27-run defeat.

Newlands, one of cricket's most picturesque settings, was packed - 20,000 in and all anticipating a cracking day.

On the scheduled fourth morning, when New Zealand were in the nets out the back, it was deserted. Not a cloud above, a perfect day for cricket.

The first session was dramatic in more ways than one.

Evidently it's something of a tradition that about 10 minutes before the start of the first day's play, communications at Newlands go down.

The reason, as one South African journalist explained, was the thousands in the ground who decided to text their friends to say "we're just to the right of the third tree from the left".

Efforts to regain a link back to New Zealand were largely in vain.

Half the wickets fell while one New Zealand head was under a desk trying to figure out how to fix the problem. More than one bang on the back of the noggin ensued.

A colleague gave up after half an hour, walked back to his hotel and watched the rest of the innings on TV. Smart chap.

After the day's play, a large crowd gathered around the New Zealand team bus.

As the players filed out of the dressing room, a lone voice boomed out repeatedly, "What did YOU do today?"

New Zealand had no riposte. Just as Australia, right now, can only shut up and take it.

Australia's chairman of selectors Rod Marsh sat stone-faced behind wrap-around dark glasses, which masked the fury he must have felt; players looked bemused as England danced a merry jig all over them.

Thirteen months before New Zealand's slide in Cape Town, Australia were rolled for 47 in 18 overs at the same ground. But they gave New Zealand's world record low score of 26 a real shake.

At 21 for nine, New Zealand's time in purgatory was poised to be rubbed out and the low seat overtaken by the near neighbours, who had for many years treated New Zealand cricket with derision.

However a last-wicket stand got them to 47. At Trent Bridge it wasn't the same - 26 was never really in doubt. Australia had lost only five wickets before passing that number.

But watching Australia's batsmen show a complete lack of competent technique against high-class seam bowling was a reminder that truly top players adapt to surroundings and perform in all conditions.

Australia is now in full squirm mode. And hardly a peep. How the world is chortling.