By this time I was sweating so much I could hardly hold mine up. I was forced to hand it back after one snap and run for the shade.
The sports tour continued. Etihad Stadium with its convertible roofs, AFL history and above average chicken parmigiana, then a drive around Flemington Racecourse where Anthony gave us a few tips for enjoying the races.
Beautiful Albert Park is home of the Melbourne Formula One track. The circuit is a public road when it isn't being used for racing and it's a lot of fun fanging around it.
Some of the corners are pretty tight even at 50km/h.
But when it came to driving, the thing that got the crew really excited was the hook turn. Not technically sport but more a terrifying driving manoeuvre that every Melburnian must master. When turning right you sit on the far left, in the middle of the intersection blocking the through traffic. When the lights to your right change, you have to spin round straight and make your way through the intersection before the line of vehicles runs you down.
It's all about leaving room for the trams. If you get the chance I suggest you back yourself and give a hook turn a go. Just don't try it when you get back home.
With MCG tickets in our hands we visited Gazi, a flash Greek restaurant on nearby Exhibition St. Everyone knows Melbourne has great restaurants but the quality still surprises you. Gazi serves easily the best octopus I have tasted.
As a bunch of cricket fanatics it was with much excitement we headed over to the Melbourne Cricket Ground. The place is very big and very close to the city. Along with the Rod Laver Arena and Melbourne Park it makes for a spectacular central sports area.
Some stadiums are weird, semi-functional, grey seated affairs. Others have a indefinable quality. The Melbourne Cricket Ground just feels right. As you would expect, it's designed for cricket. For a start, it's round.
We were there for a South Africa v Australia T20 game. The 25,000 in attendance barely touched the sides of the place. They've had over 120,000 in there. There was still plenty of atmosphere; Aussies love their cricket and their team was kicking arse.
We grabbed a few VBs and climbed to the top level of the Olympic Stand. Heaven. I have to go back the next time our Black Caps play there.
Melbourne is a city with great sporting history and even better sporting facilities. Most of it is close to town and easy to explore. Just make sure you take your shorts.
• Matt Heath and Jeremy Wells from Hauraki Breakfast are in Melbourne with Tourism Victoria