KEY POINTS:
Hands up those who felt sorry for Nathan Astle, Daryl Tuffey and Craig McMillan that their Bollywood careers were nipped in the bud by the evil Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI).
One, two, three... okay, put your hands down Mrs Astle, Mrs Tuffey and Mrs McMillan.
We can only hope Astle was misquoted when The Age newspaper in Melbourne had him saying: "It's starting to affect our earnings off the field. I don't think anyone, no matter how significant their standing in the game, should have a pull over our capacity to earn off the field."
This is the same Nathan Astle for whom, over the years, media has been a chore that he has approached with about the same enthusiasm as amputation of a limb.
Funny how the media is okay when you need to use it.
Funny too that this was probably one of those issues that should never have been aired in the media. The three cricketers were to have been paid a reported $15,000 each for a bit part in the Bollywood film Victory, a movie that needed BCCI consent. It seems the BCCI boffins influenced the producers to drop the Kiwis who are playing in the rebel Indian Cricket League (ICL), in direct opposition to the Indian Premier League (IPL), also a Twenty20 league, which is backed by the BCCI.
Before we go any further, let me make it clear that this is no rant against sportspeople earning whatever they can from their chosen sport and opportunities that spring from same. Good luck to them, I say. If I was in their shoes, I'd probably be doing the same thing.
But it's probably best not to have a big whinge about it when it goes a little septic. Particularly when New Zealand sports fans have been querying the Black Caps' bottle after woeful losses to the South Africans and the Australians.
Particularly when Craig McMillan holds a press conference and tells us all about how he is retiring from international cricket, mentions his diabetes and makes us feel a bit sorry for him... Until he turns up in the ICL, where he proceeds to give us the impression he is in fine health, batting up a storm and generally behaving in retirement as if nothing had changed other than his geography.
This wasn't acting, per se, but it did create one impression before Macca popped up in India, this time playing a different character - one who appeared to have a lot in common with an international-quality batsman.
And then there is Shane Bond, now possibly on his way out of New Zealand cricket to play in the ICL as well - in just the sort of hot, debilitating conditions that have caused him difficulties before.
This has all tended to ignite the talkback uglies who have again questioned his courage, manhood, psychosomatic tendencies, yada, yada, yada...
So you may gather that there is not a lot of sympathy for the New Zealand "rebels" in the ICL and that now might not be the best time to complain that your livelihood is being affected - especially when Bond is supposedly being offered about $3m to play in the ICL.
Some critics will make a big deal about wanting to play for your country and there being no bigger honour. Fair enough - that is what some players are declining.
However, three million smackers for bowling four overs a match must appeal to Bond who has been among our more injury-prone cricketers.
It must also be said that none of the ICL cricketers can be accused of shirking their responsibilities to their country. By any measure, the likes of Astle, McMillan and Tuffey have done their bit for New Zealand, particularly the first two.
It's just that taking the money instead of playing for your country has a distinctly mercenary feel to it, particularly when New Zealand Cricket (NZC) has just cracked a $50m deal with Sony and will be fattening players' wallets accordingly.
Those who opt to play for the IPL, as opposed to the ICL, can play for their country as the BCCI-approved league is ICC-sanctioned as well.
So there is an argument that players would be well served financially by staying put in New Zealand, and NZC is moving fast to persuade their players do so - although the reality is that the ICL pays a lot more.
There is also an argument that players like Bond have been well supported by NZC in the past.
There are also many of us who hark back to days when sport was a simpler beast, when choices were less plentiful, when playing for your country was the noblest of goals - not some smack, whack and hack league in a sweltering Indian city, which, when the history of cricket is written, will be no more than a smear on one of the last pages; a forgotten episode not worth a damn and remembered by no one.
It's okay to take the money.
Just don't tell us how much your livelihood is being affected when the BCCI steps in to thwart your Bollywood ambitions.
Because the BCCI is indulging in what you aren't - competition; real competition... and playing for high stakes.
