KEY POINTS:
I am extremely disappointed the text messages I received from a member of the Black Caps found their way into the public domain. They should have remained between the player, me and New Zealand Cricket simply because of the circumstances that led to them.
I've no doubt this attack came about due to the delicate balance an ex-team member faces when they step out of the dressing room and straight into the media. I believe the player involved would not have been motivated to approach the likes of a professional journalist in the same way they did me when they were angered by what was written.
Within the group you see things similarly and, even when disagreements arise, the dynamics on the inside are vastly different than dealing with disagreements that arise between the team and outside media.
When you leave that pack, I believe it is easier for the person leaving the group to sever ties than for those who remain to cut that person loose.
Where things have turned nasty in this case is that, in some way, I believe the players viewed me as still connected to the inside.
There would have been outrage that one of their own could see a matter - that they had solidarity over and which they felt strongly about (the Elliot run-out) - in such a different way and then publicly argue against them.
What they failed to recognise was my right to have an opinion and my responsibility as a columnist to voice that opinion.
It is hard to manage this relationship with ex-team mates because I would rather champion their cause wherever possible.
But I realise that in my position, with my background, I could easily lose credibility with the market I write for should my approach become overtly sycophantic.
For the record I consider myself more promoter of the Black Caps than detractor. However, when ties still remain, one piece of perceived unwarranted criticism appears to be received by the Black Caps as a kind of act of treason - mainly because they perceive criticism should not come from that quarter. It's a hard balance but personally I would have had it no other way.
There are advantages in maintaining closer relationships with the players than other media people do - but the personal nature of these means dealings can become less professional at times.
In a perfect world, you would hope the players could take the positive with the negative but, let's face it, the world will never be perfect and people being people will always take things to heart.
Take it from me, I've seen the red mist following harmless comments about my batting before and still do when my commentary is attacked. It's called being human.
In my opinion, this player overstepped the boundaries of my relationship with the team but has apologised so as far as I'm concerned the matter is over.
