KEY POINTS:
Hear ye, hear ye.
Daniel Vettori is already ringing the bell on his captaincy of the Black Caps and has even named his successor to help us get over the shock.
"I would like to lead us through to the next World Cup (in 2011) and then pass it on to someone else," he told the Herald on Sunday, before anointing - you guessed it - Brendon McCullum - as his heir.
"[McCullum] has that streak about him, a ruthlessness and a cockiness that leads to him just wanting to win all the time."
Wow - someone who wants to win all the time.
What an emotional moment it will be when Vettori hands over the reins and returns to the rank and file.
It only seems like yesterday that he was taking over, which it was actually. Having assumed the one day captaincy in mid-2007, after Stephen Fleming's resignation, he was promoted to the test leadership in September of that year. That's a whole 16 months ago.
The 29-year-old Vettori is already talking and thinking about passing something on, even though he hasn't got a decent hold of it himself yet.
By the time Vettori gives McCullum a wee pat on the bum - which as we all know is the preferred manner in which modern sportsmen communicate with each other in those special moments - he will have been in charge for just four years.
At least no one could accuse Vettori of trying to upstage Fleming, who was positively limpet-like in his view of the captaincy and hung on to the job for 80 tests. Selfish bugger.
On the intended receiving end of this Vettori pass will be everyone's favourite cricketer Brendon McCullum, whose ruthlessness and cockiness has him averaging about 17 as a one-day opener in his last two series against the might of Bangladesh and the West Indies.
One can only assume that Vettori has spent too much time sitting around in the rain over the past few weeks, or is craving an outlet for wacky ideas now that the Leading Teams form-filling mob have been shown the door.
Because there is no accounting for his next statement.
"You need guys coming in with fresh ideas all the time ... guys like Ross Taylor and Jamie How have very solid cricket brains and they just need the opportunity to lead sides and see if they want to take it to the next level."
Guys like? The mind boggles - who else has he got in mind? Martin Guptill?
And Dan, you still are the new bloke who is supposed to have the fresh ideas. That's why they made you the captain - to lead the new generation to the promised land.
And we've just got a new coach in there fella. A rookie captain and a brand new coach - how many fresh ideas do you need?
Fresh ideas are good, if they act as a foundation. Wheeling in fresh ideas all the time as a matter of policy can lead to chaotic thought patterns, like a fresh captain talking about retiring for the sake of finding fresh ideas.
What about the timing then? Announcing that you are thinking about giving up on the eve of the most important one-day series of the year, the five-match Chappell-Hadlee clash in Australia, is a wee bit odd. This is the time for fire and brimstone, not pipe and slippers.
Maybe Vettori realised that this was an extremely slow news week, what with Jesse Ryder having sworn off the firewater and the domestic competition in full swing.
Or maybe he thought he could confuse the Aussies. Australian cricketers have a funny attitude to cricket. They tend to hang on for dear life to things like the captaincy. This could really throw them, facing a team who think the captaincy is like pass the parcel.
Is there something in the record perhaps that has persuaded Vettori that his work is done?
What do we have so far?
There was a sound thrashing at the hands of South Africa to kick off his test captaincy followed by two series defeats against England, another against Australia, and a soggy drawn affair against the West Indies. Bangladesh were given a good pummelling but if you can put that aside for now, Vettori is talking captaincy retirement without one decent series victory behind him, and only one proper test victory - against England in Hamilton - in the bag.
There is still plenty of work to be done in the one-day arena as well.
Bugger the leadership retirement plan, Dan. Where's the fire in the belly, the enthusiasm, the obsessive pursuit of the dream, the inspirational speeches?
Sports leadership is a responsibility and can be tough on those who do it, but to captain one's country is also a privilege which should be treasured.
Concentrate on and enjoy the moment, old bean, and forget about the grand handover plans.
Where is the "Our work is far from done and I'm going to turn this team into world beaters and you'll have to take this captaincy off me with a crowbar" kind of talk.
That's what we want to hear.
Either that, or the selectors should turn ruthless and get the cocky joker to take over now.
