KEY POINTS:
You won't see a more extraordinary innings than the one Brendon McCullum unleashed on Bangladesh in Queenstown.
And you won't see a more helpless cricket mob than the one masquerading as an international outfit touring New Zealand right now.
Ever since the late Beatle George Harrison promoted charity
concerts for the impoverished country nearly 40 years ago, Bangladesh has been a byword for poverty.
There is a natural temptation to temper any criticism of a sports team from Bangladesh because of the economic situation, and their cricketers are - after all - still feeling their way in the international arena where they make sparse appearances.
Where does charity end and hard-headed sports analysis begin, in this case? I don't know. It is a delicate line.
Cricket is a passion in Bangladesh, and they've put a few runs on the board to match that enthusiasm against top opposition since 2001. Thus, you have to ask, why have we ended up with such a depleted and demoralised side on this tour? A dud contest is the last thing that cricket in this country needs.
Once again, you suspect there is more interest in cricket matters across the Tasman than what is going on in our own backyard.
Bangladesh are providing the ultimate test for the advertising whiz-kids.
All is not usually lost in the promotions department. Take the 2007 rugby season for instance, which kicked off with Super 14 All Blacks filling the screen even though our revered heroes were hidden in gyms getting Arnie Schwarzenegger makeovers (which proved absolute winners - in Corsica).
But even the most optimistic promoter might have to run up the white flag when it comes to Bangladesh - their highlights so far don't need editing, they need inventing.
The first thing you want to do when you see the Bangladesh players is remind them to be home by nine o'clock and check whether they've done their homework.
This boyish image is a little deceptive because while they look like a first XI, the average age of the team that capitulated in Queenstown was a massive 21.
That team did include hoary ol' Abdur Razzak, who checks in at 25 and would qualify for the nickname of Pops among that lot. Bangladesh were so bad in Queenstown that they couldn't even raise a tally beyond their combined ages. This, after their skipper Mohammad Ashraful made what became the wildest prediction of 2007 when his side was walloped in Napier.
"I believe we can recover from that performance - we're capable of much better," he declared.
These may have been famous last words because Ashraful was in short supply after the Queenstown debacle, where coach Jamie Siddons was the one who publicly admitted to the embarrassment felt after the worst hiding in one day history.
Bangladesh have shipped in a trio of players to bolster the test side including Habibul Bashar, who is a positively ancient 35 although he probably won't look a day over 22.
Let's hope they help Bangladesh put up credible resistance instead of continuing to look like skittles that have been hit by a wrecking ball. But at this point in the tour, you would have to say there is no point in the tour.
What started off as an honourable effort to keep the flag flying for Bangladesh - and one which held the outside prospect of maybe one boilover result - has turned into a cringe-inducing contest in which it is extremely tough to remain a polite host.
The only way the tests will last past a couple of days is via the opportunity they represent for McCullum and Co to bolster their batting averages.
The tourists appear to be so bad that the New Zealand openers might not only last until lunch, but have enough teeth left to eat it. Which is very confusing, because half of this Bangladesh team enjoyed victories over India and South Africa at last year's World Cup.
And Bangladesh's one day history is encouraging. New Zealand, England and the West Indies are the only leading sides who haven't been beaten by them.
Here's the really bad news. While Bangladesh can drum up a decent one-day performance now and then, they lose almost every test match.
The Black Caps must be licking their lips heading into the encounters in Dunedin and Wellington.
The bloke you have to feel extremely sorry for, though, is Scott Styris. Having bolstered the one day side after returning from injury in the lead-up to the World Cup, a rough run of test match form has seen him chopped for the Bangladesh test series.
The selectors' reasoning is that Mathew Sinclair is more likely to bat for long periods.
Yes, but Chris Martin could bat for long periods against Bangladesh, not that he will get the chance.
It's a tough call on Styris, a cricketer who would have relished the chance to get his test career heading upwards.
While Styris got the dud hand, Matthew Bell won the lottery and restarts his international career with test cricket's version of a free hit. The downside, of course, is that should Bell fail, his test career will be confirmed as an air shot.
Which is how the punters will treat this test series. Bangladesh have curiosity value and deserve a bit of leeway, but not nearly enough to knock other summer attractions for six.
