Chris Cairns: Better half says no to calling full time on career

I did think about retiring when I was dropped from the Black Caps' tour of South Africa.

That I didn't was down to my wife, Carin.

It is a special moment in team sport when you are called by a selector to let you know you have made the team. The flip side is the same person calling you to let you know you have not made the team. Over the past two months, I've experienced both and I know which one I prefer.

When coach John Bracewell called me two weeks before the team was due to leave for South Africa and asked to meet with me, I knew something was up. To John's credit he came and sat down with me and we talked through his thoughts and why he believed it was best that I was left out of the team. There were some points I concurred with and others with which I disagreed.

In the end 'Braces', regardless of my opinions, is the boss, so I was faced with calling it a day, which did cross my mind, or fighting back to regain selection.

The turning point for me came after lengthy discussions with Carin. My wife is an amazingly perceptive and logical thinker and she does receive the brunt of emotional swings that occur in the highly pressurised and volatile environment of sport.

We talked through the options and decided it was best to pull everything apart and rebuild, like an engine. Start with club cricket and succeed there - no thoughts of Black Caps reselection whatsoever.

This simple philosophy was very refreshing and I got back to enjoying the game, the training and the involvement.

I know that had I not enjoyed this part, it would have been time to give the game away.

The key to my regaining form is playing first-class cricket for Canterbury. Last year, I opted out of this form of the game, believing I would be better served by limiting myself to one-dayers only.

The opposite actually occurred. Not having constant cricket meant that I was out of rhythm with bat and ball.

Having had warm-up games over the past month at Lincoln, in Christchurch, which is a great facility, as well as club cricket in Christchurch, means I will have cricket fitness under my belt. It's been good for me and has rekindled my enthusiasm.

However, I cannot emphasise enough the gulf in standard between the cricket I have been playing and the standard of cricket Australia will bring.

This is where the mind plays the biggest part. Knowing that you have done all the preparation you could allows you to deal with the anxiety. For me, knowing what my mind wants to achieve and knowing that my body can back me up, gives me great confidence.

So, what are our chances against our great foe?

Losing our captain is a big blow because he leads superbly and his batting is a strength at the top. Daniel Vettori will make another step in his maturing career and he is more than equipped to deal with this situation.

We will have to rally hard, give our all and, with the news that Glenn McGrath is not making the trip, we can take it on board that Australia feels comfortable that they can succeed without their greatest asset.

I love it when they think like that.