48 hours: Commentary team outshines poor Black Caps

The honour of playing the first serious attacking shot of the new international cricket season fell to Jeremy Coney on Saturday afternoon, and what a performance we got.

Wearing a strip to match the dried-brown Eden Park strip, TV commentator Coney burst into one of the finest pitch report displays in living memory, getting so low to the ground at one point that he appeared to be establishing a new world record category for doing the breaststroke on land.

As we later discovered, if only the New Zealand batsmen had replicated the precise movements of the former national captain, they might have at least put up a struggle against an Australian team full of players who are as well know here as the Toowoomba Boys' Brigade car cleaning squad. Coney's pitch performance will rank as one of the classics.

His initial stance was nice and erect with his eyes parallel to the ground, so when the call came he was able to move quickly into position without taking his eyes off the pitch.

As a result, contact was perfectly timed. Coney's knuckles were so beautifully positioned that he was able to produce one of the greatest knocks ever heard on the Eden Park pitch.

It is even tempting to suggest that the master pitch report exponent, Tony Greig, would have been impressed, but then again ...

Whatever Greig's views may have been, it was a stunning opening to the New Zealand season and an instant reminder of all the things that are so captivating about this mysterious game.

From the commentary box shenanigans to that never-ending question about why mankind is unable to design sightscreens that work more than three decades after putting men on the moon, cricket is a fascinating and wondrous sport.

And wait, there is more.

This match marked the New Zealand debut of two ICC innovations: the Power Play and Super-Subs.

The first mystery about the Power Play is why it's called the Power Play at all.

It involves the fielding side placing restrictions on themselves which surely makes it the De-powered Play.

The second mystery about the Power Play is just how will our very own umpire to the stars Billy Bowden signal its use.

All other umpires do so by making a circular motion with their arms. Bowden is believed to be considering doing a running forward one-and-a-half somersault tuck and pike followed by the splits.

Stay tuned on that one.

The third mystery about the Power Play is why we need it at all. Surely, if the ICC really wanted to liven the game up, they would have been better advised to introduce that other exciting feature from ice hockey, the all-in brawl.

And so to the Super-Sub. New Zealand first used this in South Africa, when they substituted Chris Cairns for the entire tour with a bunch of blokes who aren't good enough to oil his bat.

Getting Cairns to warm up by playing club cricket in Christchurch was a shock move designed to lull the Australians into a false sense of security and it worked a treat as they responded by bringing over a load of rookies.

But subbing Cairns for an entire tour had nothing on Saturday evening's Super-Sub decision to bring in James Marshall for Kyle Mills.

Pace bowler Mills should feel miffed at getting yanked out of the game after being one of the few New Zealand players to shine. Mills can actually bat a bit, which is more than you could say for James Marshall right now.

And so the Super-Sub move proved super-embarrassing when Marshall got all tangled against the brilliant Brett Lee. A Super-Sub debut to remember, or not remember, depending on your point of view.

Super-Sub is clearly still in its infancy and cricket has yet to develop its potential, the way rugby has. Hopefully, in years to come, we'll be able to watch the reserves spending hours and hours warming up on the sideline, ducking imaginary bouncers, practising appeals, sledging, and diving for tight runs. In Inzamam ul-Haq's case, he could warm up by strolling around the boundary eating an icecream.

Back to the TV commentary box. The Power Play and Super Sub rules dominated the early proceedings on Saturday, the way a new toy commands the lounge at Christmas.

The game was hardly a few overs old when some of the gang called for James Franklin to get the hook even though he'd just dismissed Adam Gilchrist, one of the greatest batsmen in history.

Then Aussie commentator Michael Slater took 3.2 overs to explain how the Power Play worked. A poll has since revealed that 94 per cent of the viewers took a further 6.4 overs to work out what the hell he was on about. Adding to the confusion, umpire Tony Hill forgot how the rule worked.

And at the end of the evening's play, the effect of the new rules swept unexpectedly through the commentary box.

Mark Richardson and Coney were calmly closing out the match when Coney suddenly disappeared. Richardson could have held the fort - he certainly had plenty of practice while batting for New Zealand. But no, Grant Nisbett moved in to fill the void.

It left the inevitable question in this modern cricket age: Was Coney Super-Subbed or did he call a De-power Play on himself.

It's going to be a magnificent summer of cricket.

Highs and Lows

* High: Brett Lee's bowling blitz. Cricket perfection.

* Low: The Eden Park crowd's behaviour. We're better than that.