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KEY POINTS:
Those who want to play for New Zealand, line up in orderly fashion behind Dan Vettori. Before long the selectors will get to you.
Seriously, it's not as silly as it sounds.
A staggering 28 players have taken the field for New Zealand since the summer started in Bangladesh in October.
Two others, wicketkeepers Peter McGlashan and Gareth Hopkins, have also been flown overseas as cover for Brendon McCullum.
That's 30 players picked to play for their country - even in these days of million-dollar IPL contracts, surely the highest honour the sport affords you - out of a professional player pool of 92.
Given that Otago's Neil Wagner and Cantabrians Kruger van Wyk and and Johann Myburgh are not yet eligible to play for New Zealand, that means more than a third of all central or first-class contracted players have been picked this season.
There has been pleasure, there has been pain.
Even if it is too early to break out the party streamers, Tim McIntosh and Martin Guptill have emerged as inspired choices while Neil Broom shows uncommon promise as a middle-order hitter.
But they are easily outnumbered by the head-scratchers.
The most obvious one being the almost unprecedented situation where the captain, Vettori, made it perfectly clear he felt he was given a team to take on the West Indies in a test series minus his best test bowler, Chris Martin.
It is fair to say dissatisfaction among the ranks was peaking then, with complaints about a lack of communication and a scattergun approach reaching fever pitch.
This newspaper has learnt that a conscious effort has been made to improve communication, in regards to the calling of discarded players and the selectors articulating the reasons for their selections to team management.
Still, there are some doozies in there that won't be forgotten for a while.
Topping the list was the selection of promising pace bowler Trent Boult after just a handful of games for Northern Districts. He was pasted around Manuka Oval by an Australian Prime Minister's XI and inevitably did not play a single match of the Chappell-Hadlee trophy. So the sum total of that experiment was taking the stripling seamer out of three weeks of competitive cricket he could ill-afford to miss.
Mathew Sinclair finds himself in the unusual position of being a specialist booze-replacement after being brought in to replace Jesse Ryder for the fourth ODI against the West Indies. Despite a magnificent season with the bat - that ODI excepted - he found himself behind Peter Fulton and then Craig Cumming in the pecking order when the Chappell-Hadlee team was announced. Behind Peter Ingram too, if rumours are correct, who was one selector's vote
away from going to Australia as a No 5, despite having scored all his runs for Central Districts in the top three. Go figure.
Brendon Diamanti was a surprise choice for the Chappell-Hadlees, but then did well in a shortened ODI that played out like a Twenty20 match. That good performance was enough to see him not selected for the ensuing T20 international, though an injury to Kyle Mills saw him stay with the team.
Speaking of Mills, he missed selection for the Gabba test on a wicket that looked tailormade for him, came home then was a late call-up for the West Indies test series where he bowled well. What now for his test chances? Don't ask him, he wouldn't have a clue.
Spare a thought for Ewen Thompson too, who was given one T20 international against the West Indies, played really well then dropped off the radar completely for Australia. Now he's back for the two T20 internationals against India but you can guarantee he won't be taking anything for granted beyond that.
Daniel Flynn? Despite calls for him to be treated as a test specialist they decided to destroy his confidence in ODIs before sending him down to first-class level, where his production dried up completely. Have others moved ahead of him in the test pecking order now?
Aaron Redmond, James Franklin, Mark Gillespie - all have reason to wonder whether they're Arthur or Martha, and there's another player who won't be feeling too comfortable ahead of the Indian ODI series. Scott Styris has been one of our best-performed cricketers over the past five or so years. Will he get the nod? Your guess is probably as good as his.
THE CHOSEN ONES
Daniel Vettori
Brendon McCullum
Jesse Ryder
Jamie How
Ross Taylor
Scott Styris
Daniel Flynn
Jacob Oram
Kyle Mills
Tim Southee
Mark Gillespie
Jeetan Patel
Aaron Redmond
Iain O'Brien
Grant Elliott
Chris Martin
Peter Fulton
Martin Guptill
Neil Broom
Mathew Sinclair
Brendon Diamanti
Trent Boult
Craig Cumming
Ian Butler
James Franklin
Nathan McCullum
Tim McIntosh
Ewen Thompson
Gareth Hopkins
Peter McGlashan