The West Indies completed their task in 66.1 overs with Viv Richards and Clive Lloyd sitting in their pads. Gower, as the urbane frontman for Sky Sports these days, apparently has to relive the footage most summers when cricket's roadshow passes through St John's Wood and his producers feel like taking the mickey.
Brendon McCullum, Martin Guptill (in World Cup quarter-final mode) and Corey Anderson might audition for the part of Greenidge. Tom Latham, Kane Williamson, Ross Taylor or B-J Watling could suit up as Gomes.
The point is, it's possible, on a wicket which holds few fears if the efforts of Alastair Cook (153 not out), Ben Stokes (101) and Joe Root (84) were a gauge in England's recovery.
England are 429 for six, a lead of 295. Their pluck has guaranteed an intriguing denouement.
Judging on past evidence of gambling for victory, Cook will only settle for the shortest odds. After enduring the debate over the Kevin Pietersen recall saga for weeks, he will settle for nothing but a win or, if that's not possible, a draw. He needs a break from the bombardment which, in fairness, should come after an innings of his magnitude. He doesn't want to emulate Gower, the first England captain in 36 years to declare in the second innings and lose.
The New Zealanders might best apply a one-day international mindset. They are likely to get upwards of 50 overs to chase in the vicinity of 350 if the remaining four wickets fall steadily. The red Duke ball's likely to hoop around more than its white counterpart and there are fewer fielding restrictions, but Cook would be expected to attack with a slip cordon, therefore creating space in front of the wicket.
That's the Pollyanna outlook for New Zealand fans. Those of a more Eeyore disposition will steel themselves for the analytical reality. In 130 tests across 131 years at the ground there have been 35 successful fourth innings chases, including New Zealand's 58 in 1999 to secure their solitary win. Only three of those victorious chases have been in excess of 200.
Compounding this is New Zealand's failure to chase 239 in 2013. Stuart Broad took seven for 44 and they were dismissed for 68, their third worst total at the ground.
"We're a more experienced side than last time," said Taylor. "We'd back ourselves to chase 330 on a good day, but there's a lot of work to do before getting to that point.
"T20 or ODI sides back themselves to score six to seven an over, even in these conditions, but we've still got to set a platform. Moeen [Ali] will probably like the footmarks Boulty [Trent Boult] has left outside off stump for the right-handers.
"It's not easy to bat on that wicket if you put the ball in the right areas, but the fast outfield means you get value for your shots."
