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Jesse Ryder backs himself to shed a "bad boy" reputation and recover from self-inflicted hand injuries to play again for the New Zealand cricket team.
Ryder fronted the media yesterday to apologise for his boorish behaviour after a drunken bar episode left his fledgling international career on hold.
The 23-year-old is expected to take three months to recover from surgery to repair the thumb and index finger on his right hand - time he will also use to address behavioural issues.
Ryder injured his hand when punching a glass panel in a Christchurch bar about 5.30am on Sunday, hours after New Zealand secured a 3-1 one-day series win against England here last Saturday night.
It later emerged that Ryder had been seen drinking with mates until 1.30am on the day of the series finale.
Witnesses also told of his boorish behaviour while he was seeking treatment at Christchurch Hospital's emergency department, when he was said to swear at staff and demand priority treatment.
Ryder cut an apologetic figure yesterday when he attended a news conference at New Zealand Cricket (NZC) headquarters in Christchurch.
He looked decidedly uncomfortable in the glare of the camera lights, with his forearm wrapped in a sling and a large splint on his hand.
"Firstly, I apologise to the public, my fans and all the supporters who have supported me through my time in the Black Caps, my family and New Zealand Cricket and my teammates," Ryder said.
"I'm disappointed with myself for letting them down."
Ryder said he understood there were "a few issues" that needed to be dealt with and, with NZC's support, he would do everything he could to repair his shattered image.
"I'm backing myself to do everything I can to get through it. So I'll be committed to everything I've got to do," he said.
Ryder said he doubted he had a drinking problem, but recognised alcohol was "an issue".
He blamed his behaviour on "a reckless mind explosion".
Ryder said he "wouldn't have a clue" how much he had had to drink before the bar incident.
He described his behaviour at the hospital as "pathetic".
Ryder said he had already apologised to hospital staff and, as part of his "punishment," he would undertake charity work for the Emergency Care Foundation that funds specialist equipment and provides support for Christchurch Hospital's emergency department.
Asked what he could remember about his behaviour at the hospital, Ryder said it was not an "appropriate time to be saying what I said".
Ryder said he still wanted to play for New Zealand.
"It's been a goal of mine all my life and to get a taste of it ... I enjoyed it more than anything in the world," he said.
"I'll be doing everything in my power to get my attitude sorted out ... to get back onto the international stage."
Asked why he was out until 1.30am on the day of a big match Ryder said it was to "catch up with my mates".
"Like I said, I'm not happy with my behaviour and I'll be working with (NZC) support staff to deal with those issues."
NZC chief executive Justin Vaughan said Ryder would get one "last chance".
"Jesse is a very special cricketing talent," Vaughan said.
"We've seen in the series against England that he has the potential to be a fantastic Black Cap and a truly world-class cricket player.
"Jesse is only 23. I'm sure he's learnt a lot of lessons through this unfortunate episode.
"However, his behaviour before and the night after the one-day international in Christchurch was unacceptable," Vaughan said.
NZC and the New Zealand Cricket Players' Association would offer Ryder "appropriate support" and hoped he took it up.
"But we will need to be satisfied there'll be no repeat of this behaviour before we're prepared to reconsider him for reselection in the Black Caps."
Vaughan said NZC would review team protocols, particularly for players new to international cricket and those considered "at risk".
- NZPA
