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Controversial allrounder Andre Adams still hopes to play again at test level, despite turning down the chance to go South Africa and his animosity towards the coach.
It was revealed last week that Adams had been approached by manager of selectors Sir Richard Hadlee to join New Zealand for the three-match, one-day series but refused because he had been mucked around too often and wanted to continue enjoying cricket for Auckland.
But at the heart of it is his dislike for coach John Bracewell. While player reviews are confidential, the Herald on Sunday has learned Adams took particular exception to Bracewell's review of him last season and an uncomfortable confrontation narrowly missed becoming an ugly one.
Adams was cagey however, about whether he would ever play for a team coached by Bracewell again.
"I don't want to speculate," Adams said. "It's definitely been a tough year for me and for Braces. He's copping a lot of flak at the moment and I don't really want to be the guy who's pointing it his way.
"I haven't had a lot to do with him over the last year so I'm not going to point the finger at him and say he's doing a s**t job. He's doing it to the best of his ability."
Adams also revealed he thought the 49-year-old had been handed an impossible task in South Africa.
"We came straight out of no cricket to play the second-best side in the world on their home pitches.
"If our guys had all been averaging 50 straight out of first-class cricket we'd be much better equipped but they'd all come from bowling machines and out of winter. You're getting hammered by Dale Steyn, and if he wasn't playing it'd be Morne Morkel. They've got a stockpile of fast bowlers wanting to hit people. I feel for him in that regard."
Adams admitted his love for the game had waned until a stint at Nottinghamshire over winter and one of the reasons for that was Bracewell.
"Absolutely. There's no secret Braces and I aren't the best of mates," he said. "But you don't always have to like the coach.
"At the end of the day he's only a small part of it when you're on the park. I get on really well with Dan Vettori and most of the guys so in a way it feels strange to step away from it but it's not the end of the world and it's not a final decision."
In an ironic twist, it was when talking with Notts captain Stephen Fleming that Adams realised he had to shelve his ODI ambitions.
"I'd come pretty close to making an emotional decision after not making the World Cup, to call it quits, but I spoke to Dion Nash and he just said to have a think about that because you're a long time retired.
"I went to Notts and had a couple of good chats to Flem [Stephen Fleming] who was captaining there. We talked about why we actually played cricket in the first place: a, it's because you're good at it and b, because you love it. Something suddenly clicked and I realised I hadn't been actually enjoying my cricket for the last year or so. Everything had been focused on the World Cup and working hard towards that goal.
"Flem said the reason he kept going back to Notts was because he actually enjoyed playing cricket there. That's what happened to me as well.
"I ended up not worrying about anything else except playing cricket. I wanted to continue that on here."
The decision comes at a cost. As he has made his feelings clear, the selectors are unlikely to be bashing at his door any time soon, and so "no" quite literally costs a lot.
Adams missed out on one of the 20 coveted central contracts but there is still plenty of money in match fees. The Black Caps earn $1500 for a Twenty20 match, $2500 for every one-day international and get a touring allowance, so Adams has said no to potentially $15,000 by opting not to join the squad in South Africa.
"Playing for New Zealand is a much better way of making a living but I've had to weigh that up against a quality of life I want. Do I want to be happy and enjoy the game? At this stage I want to enjoy my quality of life rather than the money that comes with playing for New Zealand."
Adams believes firmly he is international class but wished he'd been given an extended run to prove it. He took six wickets against England in his only test, admittedly on a seamer's paradise, and an explosive, if inconsistent, allrounder over 42 ODIs. He'd like another chance, but at this stage only in tests.
"I'll never say never, not until I can't move any more.
"It's a situation where if I feel I'm in a better headspace, or some things change," i.e. the coach, "I might reconsider. I still have ambitions to play test cricket."
For now he is having fun. In two State Championship matches he has 13 wickets at a cost of 8.77 each, including an astonishing return of 5 for 12 in the first innings against Central Districts last week.
He is a realist though.
"The opposition I've played lately haven't been as strong as a full-blown Canterbury side or a full-blown CD side. Getting wickets against them is something I should do. Playing against the likes of Mathew Sinclair, Jamie How, Ross Taylor and those guys would make it a lot more difficult."
It's further ammunition for the growing number who believe something has to be done to get internationals playing more domestic first-class cricket.
"Absolutely," Adams said. "There's all sorts of things that go into it but the simple thing is, yeah, we need to play more first-class cricket."
Whether Adams plays the level up from that again will be one of the intriguing questions of the next few seasons.
