On the day of their impaling at the game's spiritual home, Cricket Australia was forced to issue a statement on behalf of David Warner - himself already in the doghouse - dissociating him from a rude tweet sent by his brother about Shane Watson, the opening batsman who extended his collection of false dawns by falling lbw to James Anderson for 20.
On the averages, and Australia's recent test record, England's superiority here is no great surprise.
At Trent Bridge, Darren Lehmann's team overachieved, creeping to within 14 runs of a famous victory after needing 80 to win with nine wickets down. It was always hard to imagine them improving much on that performance.
England, on the other hand, were bound to come on for the run. But nobody could have expected such a graphic illustration of Australian weaknesses, or for the series to expire so fast.
Few came to Lord's expecting a massacre. In most minds still were the long tussles of 2005 and 2009. Australia might not be much to look at but they had a new coach and a bit more bite. The long, hot summer was unfolding nicely. England's first innings brought another century for Ian Bell but no suggestion of a mismatch, even if England had been 28 for three before amassing 361.
On this batting pitch, Australia could expect a big score of their own. But then Watson fell to the last ball before lunch and wasted a review. Watson's selfishness in placing his own vain hope before the needs of his team seemed to detonate the Australian innings spiritually. Chris Rogers, Usman Khawaja, Michael Clarke and Steve Smith all went cheaply as they collapsed to 128 all out.
There are days in tests when teams are dismantled and destroyed before your eyes. It feels terminal, but seldom is. Over the long narrative of a series recoveries are possible, even likely. Yet not one of the great Australians working in the media here made a case for a revival. None said the batting would improve. Not a soul stepped up to argue that personnel changes could save this team.
Nathan Lyon for Agar, who made no impact with the ball, is one obvious alteration. There is, though, no phalanx of talented replacements, unless one counts the recently discarded or retired: Simon Katich, Phil Jaques, Michael Hussey or Ricky Ponting.
England have not needed to be especially good to reach this dominant position. Good in places, but not great across the board.
Australia, on the other hand, look bereft, not just now but for years to come.
The year that keeps on giving has decided to be less liberal with its gifts. One-sidedness has replaced gnawing tension. Only England's margin of victory in this series appears in doubt. At least now we know we can always call the Germans in and call it Der Ashes.
Batting woes
Australia's top 6, 1st two tests
Total: 544 runs
Average: 23.6
Australia's tail
Total: 347 runs
Average: 20.4
