Australia celebrates after winning the third test and retaining the Ashes. Photo / Getty
Australia celebrates after winning the third test and retaining the Ashes. Photo / Getty
Australia retained the Ashes when James Anderson was bowled to bring down the curtain on a pathetic England batting performance that summed up this sorry tour.
The tourists were bowled out for 68 to lose by an innings and 14 runs, losing six wickets within 80 minutes of the third day restarting.
Debutant seamer Scott Boland, 32, took remarkable figures of six for seven on his home ground, lapping up the acclaim of the MCG.
It was all but over for England when Joe Root, their last remaining hope, edged Boland to slip an hour after the restart and slowly dragged himself off the vast MCG arena knowing his dream of leading England to an Ashes series victory was over.
England never recovered from an electrifying final hour on the second day when they lost four wickets to some intimidating, brutal fast bowling. There was no respite when play resumed with the heart ripped out of the remaining batting with Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow and Root all gone within 13 overs on a sunny Melbourne morning.
Stokes was bowled through the gate by Mitchell Starc with only 15 added to the overnight score of 31-4, and Bairstow's painful innings lasted 18 balls during which time he looked like he could fall at any time. Four balls after he was dropped by Cameron Green at gully, he was lbw to Scott Boland for five.
Root continued his one-man vigil, moving past 1,700 runs in the calendar year with a glorious straight drive off Starc, but the dismissal of Bairstow to a very tight umpire's call lbw review rattled the England captain.
He was also struck in the groin again and with his mind scrambled, played a rare loose shot, edging Boland to David Warner at first slip to give him extraordinary figures of four for five on debut.
England were 65 for eight, still 17 short of making Australia bat again, when Mark Wood popped a return catch to Boland, who held the ball to the crowd to mark his five-wicket haul off just 19 balls and he had a sixth wicket when Ollie Robinson edged to third slip.
Hometown hero Scott Boland. Photo / Photosport
Anderson was bowled in the next over by Cameron Green as England lost six for 37 on a dreadful morning for English Test cricket.
The third Test was decided in reality in the final 12 overs of play on the second day. Pat Cummins and Starc hurled themselves at the top order, carried by fans beating on the advertising boards and plastic chairs, to undo all the spade work by James Anderson to extinguish any faint hopes of England winning this game.
It was too much for Zak Crawley and Haseeb Hameed, two young openers ill equipped for this sort of working over by two pace bowlers hitting the splice, gloves and arm guards at above 90mph.
Australia had an 82-run first-innings lead, which added up to more than the combined averages this year of four of England's top seven, and 12 overs to do some serious damage.
Cummins was magnificent, ruthlessly setting the tone for his team with a nasty first ball that hammered into Hameed's arm guard and looped over the slips.
Crawley's second and third balls from Cummins beat him on the outside and inside edge. He nicked Cummins between keeper and slip in his next over, but the charmed life was not going to be a long one.
In his third over, Starc angled one across Crawley, who pushed forward and edged behind, walking off with an average this year of just 10.
Dawid Malan is one of two in-form players but he was beaten for pace, his bat a long way from the ball as it thumped into his pad. Starc appealed and it looked leg side. Malan reviewed the verdict and it was just shaving the leg stump. Starc was on a hat-trick.
Root has faced many challenges on this tour. As he took guard, with four slips lurking and Starc on a hat-trick, he must have wondered what could be thrown at him next. Starc's delivery just missed the outside edge by millimetres. Starc looked to the heavens, Root gave a cheeky smile and the slips all stood with hands on heads.
Hameed somehow survived the Starc-Cummins assault but it was draining stuff. Scott Boland's change of pace did the trick, a good ball nipped away outside off and Hameed edged it. When Jack Leach shouldered arms to his second ball, Boland had two in three deliveries, the local hero revelling in the moment.
Earlier this month was the 19th anniversary of Anderson's debut for England, on this ground in a one-day international.
He was belted around that night by Adam Gilchrist and Ricky Ponting but Nasser Hussain, the then-captain, praised Anderson's "character" for coming back to take Gilchrist's wicket, the first of 926 for England in all forms.
That character remains as strong, if not stronger, 7,000 overs later for England and was evident this week in his Telegraph Sport column when he prickled at Root's assertion he had bowled too short in Adelaide.
Anderson responded with his best performance in Australia for 10 years, taking four for 33, which, when broken down, was three for 19 off 18 overs on day two. Yes, he took five for 43 in Adelaide four years ago but that was with the pink ball in the twilight hour when conditions were made for him.
This time it was a sunny afternoon in Melbourne and, while the pitch was assisting bowlers who hit the seam, Anderson was defending a total 75 below what it should have been.
