Dylan Cleaver: Lesson in abstinence makes heart ponder Gandhi's wee tipple

It's 6pm in Delhi. You exit the air-conditioned confines of the press bullpen into tandoor oven-like conditions.

The bus back to your hotel isn't due for an hour so you squeeze into a truck converted into a shuttle bus that will take you to a gate. It's built to carry 10; it carries 20.

The shuttle drops you off down a lane where you walk another 400m to where you know there will be close to 50 auto rickshaws vying for your service. You're hot, you're dusty, your throat is becoming parched.

During the game of vehicular bullrush that is your 15-minute ride back to the hotel, carbon monoxide seems to be winning its battle against oxygen. A four-letter word starts forming in your mind ...

BEER.

Once the idea takes hold it is impossible to shift. You can see the droplet forming on the outside of the bottle as the barman takes it out of the fridge. You can taste that explosion of hops as it hits the back of your sandpaper-dry throat.

There's no guilt - it's been a long day and it's Saturday night after all.

You drop your bag off, jump in a tepid shower and scrub off the dust, before taking the lift down to the bar.

It's empty. Not a promising start.

On the bar is a small sign: "Today is a dry day." You pray that it's a weather report but know it isn't.

There are 21 dry days in India, but on 18 of these hotel bars can still serve alcohol to guests. Only on the three most auspicious days is this not permissible.

One of these is October 2, Gandhi Jayanti - the birthday of the great Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.

There is no way around it. Even a promise to toast the great man falls on deaf ears.

If it wasn't also International Non-Violence Day, you'd be tempted to curse the poor barman, but instead you're left with no choice but to call on the Mahatma's legendary powers of abstinence.

Gandhi never drank alcohol, preferring his own urine.

If it's all the same, I think I can wait till tomorrow.

* * *

Bearded sevens captain DJ Forbes probably had no idea he was a sexual icon. The Counties flanker was listed among the top 10 most glamorous athletes by the Indian Sunday Express.

"He does a bare-chested war dance before the start of a rugby match and has designer tattoos ... Ladies, these are only two reasons you should look out for DJ Forbes," the writer swooned. "Tall, bald and handsome, the Aucklander broke a few thousand hearts when he tied the knot two years ago."

Who'd have thought it?