KEY POINTS:
New Zealand has a new sporting public enemy No 1. Step forward and take a bow Andrew Williams, mayor of North Shore City.
Mr Williams, with all the joy of a Calvinist convention, said the lack of facilities and the cost of hosting the Commonwealth Games had risen to the point where New Zealand was no longer in the running.
"We're no longer in the ballpark for those sort of major events unfortunately," he said.
What a joyless sod.
How is it, then, that the Rugby World Cup is coming here in 2011? Shall we suppose that, in keeping with your sweeping assessments, you don't want North Harbour Stadium hosting any matches?
The fact cricket's showpiece tournament will be jointly hosted in New Zealand in 2015 has obviously also passed you by, Mayor Williams. Oh, and there's a little regatta down Karapiro way next year.
Last week Economic Development Minister Gerry Brownlee withdrew $500,000 earmarked by the previous Government for a feasibility study into whether Auckland could host the 2018 Commonwealth Games. Part of the reason for the withdrawal was that all the Auckland councils had to buy into the bid.
Nobody expects everybody to go all ga-ga over the Games. The Commonwealths are not what they once were. Just the as the sun has set on the British Empire, this festival is in the twilight of its relevance.
But Melbourne, and to a lesser extent Manchester, showed it can still be a cracking spectacle.
Why not at least see if Auckland, the supposedly premier metropolitan area of this supposedly sporting-mad country, is up for the challenge instead of dismissing it out of hand? Have a peek and if it looks like a nightmare of ARC-Beckhamesque proportions, then withdraw.
But rather than put an ageing superstar in a team nobody cares about, against a composite team of never-will-bes and never-weres, there are multiple reasons to buy tickets for the Comm Games.
Who wouldn't want the opportunity to go along to Eden Park, like the MCG turned into an athletics venue for the two weeks of the Games, and see local hero Valerie Vili win gold, or Nick Willis aim for a 1500m-800m double?
Actually you wouldn't, would you Mayor Williams.? You'll be busy doing something really important for your city (God forbid the public apathy that saw you 'voted' in last time still sees you in office), like counting all your parking meter money.
SPEAKING OF politicians scoring cheap points, any chance John Key might like to think through the Zimbabwe issue before running off at the mouth.
A Zimbabwean cricket tour is a soft target because nobody is going to come out and say, 'too right we should tour and be seen to legitimise an ageing tyrant'.
At the same time, all the chest thumpers and soapbox owners uniformly fail to grasp the complexity of the situation and the Byzantine world of cricket politics.
It's one thing to prevent foreign nationals from undesirable regimes entering these borders, it is quite another to stop your own individual citizens legitimately plying their trade.
"Stop the cricketers touring Zimbabwe."
Great. That's something we'd all like to see. It's a good banner. How does that work exactly?
Oh, but there's a cholera and security risk as well, says Key, conveniently forgetting that security and health issues are not exclusive to Zimbabwe in the cricket-playing world.
So what happens, then, if the International Cricket Council says 'OK, to avoid cholera and potential terrorism, we'll let Zimbabwe host the tour in neighbouring South Africa'? That scenario is certainly not out of the question, so then it really would become a moral issue.
Sure, take away the cricketers' passports, but doesn't that very anti-democratic act make you little better than the regimes we all despise? Do we take away the passports of those people who wish to holiday in Fiji just because that country has a rogue government? Is Key going to be as vigilant when it comes to making sure members of New Zealand's business community don't involve themselves in commerce with any of the world's more despicable regimes?
We need to get one thing clear: nobody should have to go to Zimbabwe to play cricket. It is an issue the ICC have been woefully negligent on.
Their failure to act responsibly in their dealings with the Zimbabwe Cricket Union will forever be a stain on that organisation. But it is to the ICC where Key should apply all his pressure.
LAST YEAR'S June tourists - Ireland and England. End of year tour - the UK, including England and Ireland.
This year's June tourists - France and Italy. End of year tour - Europe, including Italy and France.
Does anybody look at these schedules and think, hang on a minute...?
