Final word: Triumphing in face of adversity

James Griffin. Photo / Dean Purcell

Opinion

The XIX Commonwealth Games, Delhi 2010"; now there is a phrase to strike fear in the heart. How many ways could this all go horribly wrong? Quite a few is currently the most popular answer, it would seem. And I guess we will find out over the next couple of weeks if Delhi 2010 is a sporting/political/medical disaster in the making; or if we Westerners have deeply underestimated India's eclectic preparation process.

I'm not so sure, however, that if Delhi 2010 does turn out to be a cock-up of massive proportions, that this will entirely be a bad thing for us. In fact, because we are New Zealanders, and because New Zealanders are world famous for getting on with things in the face of adversity, we could very well prosper at these Games. These could be the Games where our national "sweet, yeah, no probs" psyche catapults us to sporting super-power status (at least among the dregs of empire nations that make up the Commonwealth).

Our track and field athletes, for example, will probably cope with a track strewn with debris better than many of the show-pony, pampered northern hemisphere athletes. For our Kiwi runners it'll be like harking back to when they were kids and they spent many happy hours running round the backyard, hurdling the remnants of Dad's old DIY projects. Valerie Adams and Beatrice Faumuina will be happy as clams in Delhi, hiffing breeze-blocks from one pile of rubble to another.

The weightlifting team, meanwhile, instead of practising, will probably just pitch in and help out - carrying heavy stuff from where it has fallen down to where it needs to be; shifting large piles of debris from the roof of the weightlifting venue out of the weightlifting venue so that actual weightlifting can take place and so forth. In fact, our weightlifters will undoubtedly be so helpful around the various building sites that comprise the future sporting venues of the XIX Commonwealth Games that they'll end up being given extra special gold medals (or possibly only a certificate if the Indians have forgotten to organise medals) just for being really useful.

The road cycling team can also combine their training with helping out (and possibly earning a few rupees on the side) by doubling spectators to and from the sporting venues/building sites. If the worst comes to the worst we can also employ good old-fashioned Kiwi number 8 fencing wire thinking to use squads of cyclists peddling like hell, hooked up to generators, to provide power to the athlete's accommodation. And if the worst really comes to the worst, and those photos of strange, feral animal tracks across the bedding in the Games Village turn out to be true, then the shooting team could also really come into their own.

Sure, there will be hardships all round and at some stage along the way the English team will start banging on about the "Dunkirk spirit" but I'm thinking our "get stuck in, get the job done and get the hell out of this hell-hole" spirit will beat theirs any day of the week. Our swimmers will swim faster than they've ever swum, so they can get out of the water before they catch dengue fever from it; our hockey teams will be swinging their hockey sticks like mad things, half the time hitting the ball and half the time swatting mosquitoes; while the lawn bowlers will be whizzing down their bowls at frightening speed just to frighten away the snakes.

(As a quick aside, another upside of this "get in/get out" battle plan could be the curtailing of the, frankly, rather embarrassing impromptu hakas that have blighted previous global sporting events where we've come in fourth - just behind an Australian, usually. The rugby sevens boys are allowed to do a haka if they win, but that should be our quota for Delhi 2010, okay?)

I think there is, generally, something about the New Zealand psyche that operates well under pressure. And let's face it, an environment where you're not sure if it'll be the terrorists, the food, the accommodation, the structural failure of the venue, the traffic, the weather or the wildlife, let alone your opponents, who will do for you, is about as pressure-filled as environments go.

So I'm picking, just quietly, that we will rise to the occasion this Commonwealth Games. Adversity will be our friend and ally. And I bet, being Kiwis, that when we head home we'll leave the place cleaner than when we found it.