Cleaver's Games: March 24

There's barely any time to blog today, sorry. The cycle-drink-wee story mentioned yesterday has escalated out of control.

It is now the cycle-binge drink-wee-pond-ruined shoes story. With a bit more wringing by us folks in the media by tomorrow it will be the cycle-alcoholics-wee-skinny dip-pond-ruined shoes-Roman orgy story.

Who knows where it will go from there, but I'm sure a lurid game involving a Swiss cheese fondue will be involved.

As we speak breathless reporters are haring around town searching for locals who have had their new shoes splashed by New Zealand urine. We haven't had any luck so far but given the riotous behaviour of the New Zealand team it is only a matter of time.

Actually, as I write there are unconfirmed reports of a vagrant near Flinders St station who has urine stains on his shoes that he swears weren't there when he crashed out on the footpath last night.

Just give me a minute to pack my notebook and I'll be there.

* It is now amazing that the Australians had the cheek to slag off the Greeks before the Athens Olympics. In nearly every respect Athens was organised more efficiently than Melbourne 2006.

For a start the transport has been farcical here. There's a never-ending supply of stories of people getting on buses to venues and the driver getting lost.

The journey from the media centre to the MCG is no more than 3kms but it can take more than an hour as drivers are forced to go a circuitous route through some of the CBD's busiest streets.

In Athens they gave you specific Olympic lanes for travel, here you get one lane on one street that takes an age to get to.

The venue management has also been ludicrous.

Media on deadlines are forced to take one elevator at many venues to get to a mixed zone where you can talk to players and coaches.

Unfortunately that lift doubles as a catering lift, a lift for technical staff and Games Family guests.

Countless interview opportunities have been missed. Athens was dealing with a much bigger event in a city with an infrastructure far less equipped to handle it.

How Melbourne, with all its confidence and modern advantages, has made it look so difficult is anybody's guess.


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READERS' VIEWS


Dear Mr Cleaver,In reply to the Aussie-bashing in your column, I have a small joke for you.
Q: "How do you really rile a Kiwi?"
A: "Ask them when the next election is"
Q: "Election for what?"
A: "The election when Australia will vote if NZ will become their 7th state"
You are becoming the England of the South Pacific - Pathetic !!
- Sal, "Really Proud Aussie"


Mate, I - like you - feel very strongly about the abject and embarrassing failure of NZ at these superb games for Australia - and I have to live here! I am totally embarrassed by the gutless performance of NZ's so called stars. We should go home and lick our wounds and reflect on the disgrace our so-called 'athletes' have given us! Let's retreat from International sport altogether if we can't make our nation proud! But useless and overpaid and over- hyped NZ stars aside (45 medals???? ha ha ha) - PLEASE don't start picking on Melbourne's organisation of them - its been amazing!
- Mark Holden


If the media center is "no more than 3km from the MCG" why don't you guys walk it. From your photo you look like you could use the exercise. It may also help your demeanour to the point you start writing positively. A good thing for all media people.
- John McIlvena