Herald writers Niall Anderson and Cameron McMillan witnessed a fair share of the Commonwealth Games action over the past 11 days (Yes, even some rhythmic gymnastics).
Therefore they were the most qualified in the Herald office to take on the monumental, arbitrary and definitive task of ranking every New Zealand athlete and team that competed on the Gold Coast. All decisions are final.
1. Joelle King (Squash) Accomplishments: Gold in the singles and women's doubles, and bronze in the mixed doubles, playing on every day of the Commonwealth Games.
2. Sam Webster (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: Gold in the individual and team sprint, fifth in the keirin, arguably most thoughtful Kiwi speaker at the Games
3-21. Black Sticks Women (Hockey) Accomplishments: New Zealand's first Commonwealth Games gold in hockey
25. Tom Walsh (Shot Put) Accomplishments: Gold, breaking the Games Record in the process
26. Natasha Hansen (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: Silver in the women's sprint, silver in team sprint, bronze in keirin, fourth in 500m time trial
27. Sam Gaze (Mountain Biking/Road Cycling) Accomplishments: Gold in mountain biking, 10th in the road race, made some people mad
28. David Liti (Weightlifting) Accomplishments: Gold in the +105kg despite having to sleep in a single bed all Games
29-41. Women's Sevens (Uh, Sevens) Accomplishments: Won the first ever women's Commonwealth Games sevens gold medal
42-54. Men's Sevens (Also Sevens) Accomplishments: Won their fifth ever men's Commonwealth Games sevens gold medal
55. Campbell Stewart (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: Silver in 40k points race, silver in Men's 15km scratch race, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit, most vocal thanker of his teammates at the Games
56. Julia Ratcliffe (Hammer Throw) Accomplishments: Gold medal, probably NZ's only Ivy League educated medalist in 2018
57. Ethan Mitchell (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: Gold in men's team sprint, fifth in men's individual sprint
58. Jo Edwards (Lawn Bowls) Accomplishments: Gold in the women's singles, didn't get out of group in pairs
65. Alana Barber (Race walking) Accomplishments: A silver medal in the 20km walk
66. Anton Cooper (Mountain biking) Accomplishments: A silver medal, moral superiority
67-85. Black Sticks Men (Hockey) Accomplishments: Tied their best ever Games finish with a silver medal
86. Kirstie James (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: Silver in team pursuit, fifth in individual pursuit, fifth in women's scratch
87. Olivia Podmore (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: Silver in women's team sprint, fifth in sprint, sixth in keirin
88. Lewis Clareburt (Swimming) Accomplishments: Bronze in 400m IM, becoming the leading "Where did he come from?" candidate of the Games. Seventh in 200m IM, seventh in 200 butterfly, didn't get out of heats in 200m backstroke
90. Ben O'Dea (Beach Volleyball) Accomplishments: Claimed New Zealand's first beach volleyball bronze
91. Amanda Landers-Murphy (Squash) Accomplishments: Made round of 16 in singles, won gold in women's doubles, lost round of 16 in mixed doubles
92. Holly Robinson (Javelin) Accomplishments: Won silver in the para-javelin; threw a world record but was then beaten on the last throw by her lone rival
93. Sam O'Dea (Beach Volleyball) Accomplishments: Also claimed New Zealand's first beach volleyball bronze
94. Dylan Kennett (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: Bronze in individual pursuit, annoyed Australians, seventh in 1000m time trial, 15th in men's scratch race
95. Ryan Sissons (Triathlon) Accomplishments: Fifth in men's race, bronze in mixed team relay
96. Rushlee Buchanan (Track and road cycling) Accomplishments: Silver in team pursuit, 26th in road race, fifth in time trial, fifth in women's 25km points race
97. Bryony Botha (Track and road cycling) Accomplishments: Silver in team pursuit, ninth in individual pursuit, DNF in road race
98. Racquel Sheath (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: Silver in team pursuit, 15th in 10km scratch race, 17th in 25km points race
99-111. Tall Ferns (Basketball) Accomplishments: Won bronze, would have won silver if not for an unfortunate draw
112. Nicole Van der Kaay (Triathlon) Accomplishments: Seventh in women's race, bronze in mixed team relay
125. Mark Noble (Lawn Bowls) Accomplishments: Silver in the B6/B7/B8 triples
126. Bradlee Ashby (Swimming) Accomplishments: Fifth in 400m IM, Fifth in 200 IM, missed out on two other finals
127. Daniel Hunter (Swimming) Accomplishments: Made two finals, finished fifth in 50m butterfly, eight in 100m freestyle, fourth in 4x100m freestyle relay
128. Elizabeth Cui (Diving) Accomplishments: Fourth in synchronised 3m springboard, 12th in 3m springboard final, 13th in 1m springboard
129. Laurel Hubbard (Weightlifting) Accomplishments: Was on track to storm to gold before being injured attempting a Games record, made significant headway for inclusivity in sport
130. Bailey Rogers (Weightlifting) Accomplishments: Fourth in the women's 75kg
131. Brad Mathas (800 metres) Accomplishments: Made final of the 800 metres, ran a personal best, finished fifth
132. Hayden McCormick (Road cycling) Accomplishments: Finished fifth in the road race
133. Nicholas Kergozou (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: 13th in individual pursuit, 17th in 15km scratch race, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit
134. Regan Gough (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: Ninth in 40km points race, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit
135. Tom Sexton (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: 10th in 40km points race, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit
136. Jared Gray (Track Cycling) Accomplishments: 12th in men's individual pursuit, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit
155. Jesse Reynolds (Swimming) Accomplishments: Finished fourth in the S9 100m freestyle, fourth in the SB8 100m breaststroke, and sixth in S9 100m freestyle
156. Sam Perry (Swimming) Accomplishments: Finished sixth in the 50m butterfly, made two other semifinals, fourth in men's 4x100m freestyle relay
157. Corey Main (Swimming) Accomplishments: Finished seventh in the 100m backstroke, fourth in 4x100m freestyle relay, failed to make 200m backstroke final
158. Carina Doyle (Swimming) Accomplishments: Finished eighth in the 400m freestyle, made another semifinal, fourth in 4x100m freestyle relay
159. Celyn Edwards (Swimming) Accomplishments: Finished fourth in the SM8 200m IM, sixth in SB8 100m breaststoke
160. Chris Arbuthnott (Swimming) Accomplishments: Finished fifth in the S9 100m Freestyle, seventh in S9 100m backstroke
185. Olivia McTaggart (Pole Vault) Accomplishments: Finished ninth in the final, 10cm shy of her personal best
186. Ben Langton Burnell (Javelin) Accomplishments: Made the final, finished 10th
187. Campbell Grayson (Squash) Accomplishments: Lost in the round of 16 in singles, lost QF in men's doubles
188. Natalie Rooney (Shooting) Accomplishments: Missed women's trap final after losing a shoot-out in qualifying, eventually finished seventh
189. Chloe Tipple (Shooting) Accomplishments: Finished seventh in the women's skeet
190. Helena Gasson (Swimming) Accomplishments: Didn't make a final, but made two semifinals, finished fourth in women's 4x100m freestyle relay, and fourth in 4x100m medley relay
227. Evan Williams (Squash) Accomplishments: Will forever appear in the nightmares of Cayman Islands player Jacob Kelly after handing him a 3-0 thrashing. But lost round of 32 in singles and the round of 16 in men's doubles
228. Oliver Leydon-Davis (Badminton) Accomplishments: One victory then lost in round of 16. Appears higher because he's the older sibling
229. Susannah Leydon-Davis (Badminton) Accomplishments: One victory then lost in round of 16
230. Lance Beddoes (Squash) Accomplishments: Lost men's doubles round of 16. Taught the St Vincent and the Grenadines a lesson or two about doubles squash
231. Bradly Knipe (Cycling track) Accomplishments: 21st in men's keirin which sounds good until you realise he finished last in both his heat and repechage
232. Ann Muir (Lawn bowls) Accomplishments: Finished fifth in B2/B3 pairs group with two wins and three defeats
233. David Stallard (Lawn bowls) Accomplishments: Finished fifth in B2/B3 pairs group with two wins and three defeats
234. Peter Blick (Lawn bowls) Accomplishments: Finished fifth in B2/B3 pairs group with two wins and three defeats
235. Sue Curran (Lawn bowls) Accomplishments: Finished fifth in B2/B3 pairs group with two wins and three defeats
236. Tayla Ford (Wrestling) Accomplishments: One win, three defeats meant no repeat of the medal in Glasgow
237. Stanislav Chalaev (Weightlifting) Accomplishments: Had one successful snatch lift to sit in fifth but withdrew before clean and jerk due to being 'chronically dehydrated'
238. Richard Patterson (Weightlifting) Accomplishments: Three failures in the snatch for the defending gold medallist. A sad ending to his career
Friend Jessica Massey describes the bullying texts Olivia Podmore was receiving from squadmates on the first day of the coronial inquest into the death of the Olympic cyclist.