Commonwealth Games 2022: A day out at the incongruous Birmingham beach

Birmingham hardly springs to mind when considering natural venues for beach volleyball. Photo / Kris Shannon

By Kris Shannon in Birmingham

When the English long ago sailed away to establish their Commonwealth, one thing would inevitably greet their arrival, along with some wary locals.

Beaches. Beautiful, white-sand beaches, the type so lacking at home, the type to make a visitor want to stay awhile.

Fortunately for the natives, they were offered recompense in return for their hospitality: an invitation to one day, hundreds of years in the future, come play beach volleyball in Birmingham.

England's second city hardly springs to mind when considering natural venues for that sweaty and sun-baked game. In the geographical centre of the country, Birmingham is convenient to many places, but a coastline ain't one of them.

Yet that hasn't stopped a spirited beach volleyball competition from breaking out at these Commonwealth Games, one with enough component parts of the beach to remind a watching fan that their skin is far too sensitive for this kind of carry on.

The smell of sunscreen was strong in the air when the Herald visited Smithfield to catch Canada's women taking on Kenya on day four of the Games.

A short walk from the Bull Ring - the bustling heart of Birmingham - the beach volleyball stadium is part of a complex also hosting the 3x3 basketball and a lively fanzone, featuring food stalls, all manner of activities for the kids, and today at least mass-participation hula hooping.

The fanzone near the beach volleyball stadium. Photo / Kris Shannon

Climbing high into the temporary stands, some fellow Kiwis are immediately spotted on press row, enjoying the faux-beach atmosphere before heading home to late winter.

The near-capacity crowd in summery clothing certainly helped and, most importantly, so did the weather, 25 degrees and sunny.

Looking behind the stands, however, and it wasn't quite so beachy, the surrounding industrial area not exactly recalling Mallorca.

The surrounding industrial area behind the beach volleyball stands. Photo / Kris Shannon

The scoring system, like the English, must have also been struggling the weather, melting down after a single Kenya fault to begin proceedings.

Once we were back underway, the first timeout of the match brought the first sight of what would become a highlight: the Brum Beach Crew. Dressed in board shorts and tie-dye tops, the dance troupe were doing…actually I don't know what they were doing. Plenty of thrusting and gyrating.

Watched carefully by two courtside camera operators with the best seat in the house - purple Swiss balls on the sand - Kenya put up a decent fight in the first set against their world No 15 opponents, eventually doing down 21-15.

Which was when, perhaps sensing someone was making fun of their moves, the Brum Beach Crew started climbing into the stands like Ron Artest and heading straight for my seats. But, thankfully, they paused just short in the aisles and continued to do…whatever it was they were doing.

The Brum Beach Crew in the stands. Photo / Kris Shannon

The second set began as an overenthusiastic MC reminded the fans that, since they were here, they weren't at work. Try telling that to the visiting Kenyan journos who, with their team wilting in the heat, packed and headed off with a few points left.

The crowd attempted to rally the underdogs, with several loud cries of 'Go Kenya' sounding a little incongruous in a Brummie accent, and the biggest cheer of the day came when Canada were denied on their first match point.

But Kenya couldn't save the next, losing the second set 21-5 and the match in less than 40 minutes.

With Canada advancing to the quarter-finals, captain Sarah Pavan told Birmingham of the conditions: "You've delivered - this is perfect."

And just when I thought a perfect day couldn't get any better, it ended with one final performance from my new favourite dancers. Give them the gold medal.