Bowls: Bowled over by a very different breed of mascot

MELBOURNE - Bowls has never been a sport noted for a lack of humour, usually the earthy sort. Bowlers tend to be people who enjoy life and, if that was ever in doubt, it was proven by the choice of the team mascot for the Commonwealth Games.

It's a toy dog, called JB, who is transported everywhere the team goes. So what? Well, JB looks like butter wouldn't melt but the plain fact is that he is a bit of a rogue.

Pull his ear (gently, you wouldn't want him to bite) and he sings an obscene version of How Much Is That Doggy In The Window?

Family newspaper concerns make it impossible for me to outline the next line but it goes like this: The one with the big hairy b***s. It gets worse from there.

The team take turns in carrying him around and women's pairs bowler Marina Khan had JB sitting in her handbag, just as some people do with tiny, real dogs.

And, if someone is still sufficiently entranced to want to see more of JB, when he is freed from Marina's handbag, it is revealed that he does, indeed, have, ummm, appendages well in excess of what could normally be expected of a toy dog.

Do not purchase JB for a child's Christmas present. Oh dear me, no.

"He has to have three meals a day and has to be introduced to at least one new person a day," said Khan.

So we greet JB and then leave, before he has a chance to sing once more.

- HERALD ON SUNDAY