Christian Cullen: Retiring at the top a daunting decision to make

It was sad to see Ben Afeaki forced to retire this week, but on another level, it was good to see him make a decision that was all about his physical welfare.

The fact he's still suffering symptoms more than a year after his concussion is an indication of how serious the collision was and how his body is still suffering.

I met him last year at a business function and he told me a bit about how much he was being affected - headaches, forgetfulness and nausea were constant for him.

Some people may think it was a hard call for him, but it probably wasn't. You only get one head and you just can't take risks with the brain. Knowing the possible consequences of continuing to play ... it probably wasn't a hard choice for Ben to make.

He's a young man with his life ahead of him and while it's sad he won't be able to pursue the career he wants, he has given himself a chance to recover and take on new challenges.

In completely different circumstances, Brad Thorn also announced his retirement this week and I would imagine that may have been a harder decision to make than it was for Ben.

Obviously Brad couldn't have gone on forever and he had to call it quits at some stage. But when professional football - be it league or rugby - has been your life since you were 17, it's a daunting business retiring.

I struggled a bit when I decided to retire. It was an easy enough decision to make, as physically I was struggling. I was finding it difficult to get out of bed and off to training each morning. That had become a grind, so I knew it was time.

I didn't miss training at first, but I did miss the camaraderie of the changing room. I did miss having my mates around me all the time.

It was the banter I couldn't replace after I retired or the buzz that comes on match day. There was always something special about running out to play in front of a crowd and the emotions that invoked.

I missed that a lot and I'm sure Brad will, too. I got over it in time and now I enjoy watching rugby and being a fan, although I am regularly confused by some of the refereeing and decisions that get made.

A case in point was the Blues on Friday night. I didn't really get the last call for the penalty that gave the Brumbies a chance to snatch it at the death.

I think now that the Blues have won, they could become a big spoiler. With a run of games at Eden Park, they can win a few more against teams in the playoff hunt.

But I'm not sure victories are the only way for the Blues to salvage their season. As professionals, they will have their pride and want to win. But the most important thing is that they deliver constant improvement in performance.

I thought they were a bit dumb when they lost to the Lions - too much pick-and-go against a big South African pack. Against the Brumbies, they had a better plan and eventually got the win.