First up on the chopping block was the Australian pace attack of Mitchell Starc, Josh Hazlewood and Pat Cummins. Starc and Cummins bowl genuine heat, both capable of hitting the 150km/h mark. In a sizzling spell against New Zealand at the WACA in 2015 Starc even broke the magical 160km/h barrier, but Lawry - a former opening batsmen - said the left-armer from NSW and his partners in crime are nothing special.
"If I was an (English) opening batsman I wouldn't be losing too much sleep facing the Australian pace attack as far as pace is concerned. They're all good bowlers but nothing frightening," Lawry said.
"If the England openers can get a start they'll make a lot more runs than what we think. The key to the 2013/14 Ashes series was Mitchell Johnson scaring them and he scared me up in the commentary box to be quite honest because he's got that look in his eye.
"These guys haven't got that look in their eye. They're quick enough - Starc's quick when he gets it right but you're not going to lose any sleep.
"If (England opener) Alastair Cook has a little bit of luck early and finds some form and scores a hundred or two it'll be very hard to bowl England out, so I'm really looking forward to a classic contest."
Cummins didn't escape Lawry's sharp tongue, mocked for a horrendous injury run that's seen him play just five Tests in six years.
"Who's the guy who's played six Test matches in 10 years? What's his name? Pat Cummins, he wouldn't be a Victorian, of course he'd be a New South Welshman," Lawry - a proud Victorian - joked.
Then it was onto the GOAT - Aussie off-spinner Nathan Lyon. Lyon is Australia's most successful offie with 269 wickets from 69 Tests - a haul that puts him seventh on the list of Australia's all-time leading Test wicket takers.
But he copped Lawry's most savage takedown of all.
"Greigy (former England captain and Nine commentator Tony Greig) will be turning over when Lyon comes on to bowl his straight breaks," he said as the room erupted into laughter. "He's got 269 Test wickets - God help us.
"Lovely guy and he's promoted himself very well but for goodness sake they should have to bat with a stump.
"He's done well, don't take it away from him - the fact that he's still in the side. He's lucky."
Next a poor Channel Nine producer was on the end of a one-liner when Lawry was reminiscing about the beginning of his broadcasting career during the World Series Cricket era.
"(Then-producer) David Hill was absolutely magnificent - he makes our new producer look pretty ordinary - he was really good," Lawry said, before lining up his fellow callers in his sights.
"I do get embarrassed when I'm around the great players. Luckily there's only one here at the moment (Shane Warne) - you can come down Mark (Taylor) and I'd feel even better."
And there was a dig at Warne's extra-curricular activities when Ian Healy said: "You try not sleeping for six months" to explain why no young tweaker has been able the match the legendary leg-spinner's exploits.
"I wouldn't mind doing what he's doing for one night, not six months," Lawry said to more laughter. "I came up on the plane, I know what goes on."
In the face of his esteemed comrade's ribbing, it was Warne who said it best when summing up what the crowd had just been treated to.
"Got him, yes!" Warne roared. "Keep going Bill, you're on fire."
