"The phrase spread to peaceful pursuits - but it rarely works, which is why the British and Irish Lions should stop using it in New Zealand."
Hayward pointed out that in the 48 hours immediately after arriving in New Zealand last week, 41 Lions had 'fanned out' across seven schools, three hospitals and two retirement villages 'where you might fear some of Gatland's men will end up after the All Blacks have finished with them'.
Hayward wrote that the tour was 'in danger of imitating a royal visit'.
"Making friends is intrinsic to Lions expeditions.....but since this tour is a quart squeezed into a pint pot, something has to give, and it might need to be the questionable belief that you can make people who want to smash you into the ground love you."
"The pictures at Waitakere Hospital and Mayfair Retirement Village were warming.
Children, the unwell, medical staff and retirees will always remember the day the Lions walked through their door. And they will dearly hope the All Blacks romp the Test series 3-0 and turn these Lions into moggies."
Hayward felt it was folly for the Lions to front at Waitangi the day after their underwhelming 13-7 win over the Barbarians in the tour opener 'for another haka and assorted rites'.
John Spencer, the Lions' manager, said the emphasis on mixing with Kiwis was deliberate.
"We were determined to come here and show our respect and our friendship - two of the Lions core values," he said at Waitangi.
Hayward said that mission had been accomplished 'but for the rest of the tour New Zealanders would surely want the Lions to bestow the best gift they can: a Test series rammed with tension and spectacle'.
"As long as no-one is actually rude, Kiwi children are surely best taught that sport requires above all intense focus on the actual task, especially against opponents (the All Blacks) with a 93.33 per cent win ratio since 2011," he wrote.
"In other words, anything that helps make this compressed Lions schedule a success is to be welcomed. Anything superfluous that weakens the spectacle is counter-productive, for spectators as much as players."
"I'm much more prepared for that now. It's part of the game." He also said he would be making sure 'the tail doesn't wag the dog'.
"One way would be to scale right back on the "hearts and minds" campaign. The folks in the retirement villages would understand."
Join the Herald's live blog of tonight's clash between the Lions and the Blues. Coverage begins at 7pm