Bill & Ben's NZ sporting hall of fame

Bill and Ben as cheerleaders will set you straight on who's who in the sporting world.

Sir Edmund Hillary

Edmund was the first man in history to do the impossible - bring out a bestselling cookbook. Yes, well before Jamie Oliver was on the scene, the Edmonds Cookery Book was teaching us how to make a white sauce and telling us how long to cook a 9lb roast of beef.

Dick Quax

We're pretty sure Dick Quax did some running at some point but we're not 100 per cent certain as we didn't bother to research him. We just thought he deserved a mention because we find his name quite amusing. Say it - it will make you smile. It sounds like something that's done with a wet towel in the rugby changing rooms.

Don Clarke

The legendary All Black kicker from the 1950s was known as The Boot, but to us he'll always be Fred Dagg. Yes, a very funny chap, no one could kick it in the guts Trev like Don Clarke.

Irene Van Dyk

Has to be here for her spa-pool television commercial alone. Getting a netball goalshoot to say, "I finally got my goal" was pure genius. Disappointing that Black Cap cricket captain Stephen Fleming's air-conditioning commercial didn't feature an equally stunning last line. Surely they could have had him say something like, "I finally found a way to vent my frustration at not converting scores over 50 into centuries", or even "Just like the Black Caps, this thing runs both hot and cold."

Carlos 'n Tana

Two of our most exciting rugby players from the past decade and when the two played together the Carlos'n Tana combination could produce some blistering rugby, crunching injuries or wailing guitar solos on tracks like Black Magic Woman and Smooth with Matchbox Twenty's Rob Thomas.

Buck Shelford

While Tauranga MP Bob Clarkson only talked about giving away his left testicle, Buck Shelford went out there and did it. Buck astounded the rugby world when he kept playing a test after losing one of his testicles to a French sprig. In the same game Buck also lost four teeth, half an earlobe and a $10 note from his back pocket. He was later quoted as saying that "the 10 bucks hurt the most".

Justin Marshall

The gutsy All Black halfback who was heavily criticised by many for his slow delivery but praised by us for his fantastic road safety message, telling the public how important it is to look both ways before you pass.

Evers-Swindell Twins

These rowers brought some respect back to their kind after that terrible movie starring Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger about an ambitious genetic experiment that took a wrong turn when twins who look nothing like each other are born. They get separated and don't meet for a couple of decades or so. Then, with girlfriends in tow and a hitman on their tail, the newfound brothers set off on a wild cross-country misadventure to find their mother - but they find out more about themselves.

Norm Hewitt

While playing rugby, Norm spent most of his time riding the pine of the reserves bench, but on Dancing with the Stars, Norm was sensational. Unfortunately his choice of a black sequin see-through shirt will go down as a real low point in New Zealand television history.

Ivan Mauger

Ivan dominated the sport of speedway riding in the 70s. Not to be confused with other famous sporting Ivans - Ivan Lendl, Ivan Awlful-Headache and Ivan Overdue DVD I Need To Return.

Men's Hockey Fans

While people like us may find it difficult to relate to the Men's Hockey Fan they must be commended for their efforts. Often the Men's Hockey Fan will actually attend hockey games of their own free will, at times pay real money to be there, and occasionally even appear to be enjoying the action on the field - an astounding feat, you'll agree.

* Pulp Sport screens on TV3, 9.30pm, from Thursday, August 24