Danny Morrison, the former New Zealand fast bowler-turned-television-commentator whose insights and colourful descriptions have reached the ears of millions around the world during the T20 Cricket World Cup in Abu Dhabi and will continue to do so during Monday morning's final, is explaining how he reacts to social media trolls
Big interview: Danny Morrison on social media trolls, commentary and a career abroad
The 55-year-old has work to get on with and a family on Australia's Sunshine Coast to contact via his laptop but is an entertaining interview subject and is in no hurry to cut our 45-minute interview short.
We talk about the Black Caps' performance in their remarkable semifinal victory over England and the merits of Pakistan and Australia ahead of theirs; Morrison is wary that the Aussies are coming into form at the right time and it turns out he was right.
The Black Caps, he says, can no longer be seen as a team punching above their weight because they deserve to be measured alongside the "big three" of Australia, India and England due to their consistency and a talented line-up which includes Kane Williamson ("a magnificent human being"), Trent Boult, Tim Southee, plus Martin Guptill in the white ball game.
"Throw in Mitchell Santner and Ish Sodhi, and you have a very strong nucleus and squad, so I don't think there are any excuses any more," he says. "And there's no fear any more, there's no fear factor when they face India, Australia, anyone, because New Zealand is now the test championship winners."
Some of his eccentricities which make his commentary riffs so entertaining for some and so apparently painful for others can be glimpsed – at one point he contorts himself in his chair in order to present me with the view of a bandage on his calf (he spoke at length to injured Black Caps quick bowler Lockie Ferguson the day before about Ferguson's own calf issue) but is perhaps at his most revealing when he talks about the feedback his style attracts and why one shouldn't be too quick to judge others. He knows people can have hidden issues because he's had them himself.
He admits he can be out there, and there are probably few double entendres he could resist hitting to the boundary. In one recent match in the commentary box alongside the precise Englishman Mark Nicholas, Morrison found himself remarking for reasons that now escape me: "I do like double Ds." Nicholas responded by saying something like: "Oh, yes, very clever!"
Some of the dramatic delivery, he feels, may stem from having a mother who is a trained actor. Perhaps it was being brought up in a female dominated household.
Either way, Morrison knows he doesn't appeal to everyone and that's why, having been shuttling between his Australian home and the Sub Continent to call games in the booming IPL competition, among others, for many years now, his targets are those younger viewers tuning in for entertainment as much as the cricket itself.
"It's a very different audience," he says. "I know I probably grate with some, particularly with English and New Zealand audiences, unless it's T20 perhaps. It does probably irritate them a bit. But I know my audience and it tends to be the Sub Continent which has that whole Bollywood movie-cum-cricket marriage. That's why it works. The other thing is, and I make no bones about it… my delivery is very punchy, short, flamboyant.
"It can be loud but it's so loud in the Sub Continent. You do bring it down a bit for the ICC [host broadcaster]. I always get told at the start, 'hey, this isn't the IPL, just drop an octave', and I laugh at them and say, 'it's just a different hat, it's a subtly different genre'.
"The white ball game lends itself to a younger audience. It can be a bit of a contradiction when you're told to calm down a bit when at the same time at production meetings they're talking about appealing to younger audiences. Because that's where the game is moving to. It's so dominated by T20 now. In fact, I'm staying in Abu Dhabi for a T10 – they're cutting it in half; boom, bang, just a slogfest, a smashfest.
"It's for those who aren't so cricket centric but can get involved and like it. It's great under lights for a bit of entertainment.
"I do polarize people. I get a lot of 'Morrison, that's not commentary, I'm sick of your dad jokes and one liners'.
"But if they don't like it they can turn the sound down.
"It's a bit like when I played. I used to get shouted at by the [Sydney Cricket Ground] Bay 13 crowd – 'f**k you' - and I'd blow them a kiss and have fun with it because you ain't gonna win that battle.
"And with social media, people are going to have their opinions. I'm not everyone's cup of tea.
"Now I'm getting a bit of stick because New Zealand left Pakistan due to the security thing [in September]. 'Oh, are we going to have enough security for you if Pakistan play in the final?'. The challenging thing is the India-Pakistan rivalry which is very aggressive and full on."
Morrison has nearly 100,000 followers on Twitter and his messages appear to be an extension of his commentary – with added emojis.
"I use it for a bit of fun and put in lots of emojis, because I'm not prepared to get sucked into serious things. I have gone back a couple of times if someone's left the planet, usually by saying something like, 'last time I checked we're both humans aren't we?'"
"The other thing is, you never know what people are going through. It can be tough. I'm a salesman for escapism for people to smile and have fun, to forget about their troubles and their mortgages and job. Having been through shit and depression and having smashed myself, and bouncing back, I'm grateful to have been through those aspects so I probably get that perhaps more than others."
Morrison, wife Kim, and their two children, now aged in their 20s, left New Zealand for Australia 15 years ago after the death of a sister and a business deal went wrong costing him his savings.
In an interview with Stuff 10 years ago, he said: "I had a family tragedy, with my sister taking her own life. A lot of stuff went down in my family and with my wife's family. That was a bit of a spark to create some space between us and those dramas. From a massive emotional angle, it was time for a bit of a change," he said.
Kim revealed Morrison's battle with depression in an interview in Australia two years ago.
Now, he says, the family left New Zealand for "some sun" and one suspects he means the metaphorical type as well as the literal. He was last in New Zealand in January last year when visiting his mother, who, after raising her family in Devonport on Auckland's North Shore, now lives in Thames. He hopes to return next year for the women's ODI World Cup scheduled for March and April.
Those who watched Morrison play live will likely remember him as tireless bowler, who occasionally excelled, particularly in the test arena, despite being relatively short. His spirit was just as memorable as his physical gifts. His international career lasted 10 years.
"I wouldn't say I miss playing because it was a different time," he says. "When I look back, I think it was a great time of my youth. And that's what it was, and you move forward. I've gone on to a different career within the game, for just over 20 years, and I'm very grateful.
"I'm very blessed and grateful for this whole revolution of T20 because of the IPL. I do a bit of the Bangladesh premier league from time to time, the Pakistan Super league which was here in the UAE but is now heading back to Pakistan, and then the Caribbean Premier League."
Kim now has a thriving skin care business and the children are adults. But due to the pandemic, Morrison will have spent four months away when he finally gets home in the middle of December.
That's a lot of solitary breakfasts.
"I think, of late, that time away is the hardest thing – being away from your family," he says. "When you can come and go, and they can come and go, it's easier. It's just a bit niggly at the moment. But having travelled a lot through Bangladesh and India, there are people living under bridges and every day they're trying to survive."