Seven weeks to go until the Auckland Marathon and, for the first time since I began training, I'm wondering if I can do it.
I had plenty of doubts before I decided to go for it.
I'm built like a prop and props don't run. Well, they don't run more than 30 metres before collapsing over a tryline.
You see very few people built like props standing on winners' podiums in their all-in-one lycra running suits, getting medals for winning marathons. With seven weeks to go, I'm wondering if I can run 42km.
I'm trying the psychological tricks. I tell myself that when I started, I couldn't run for more than 40 minutes and the idea of running a half-marathon seemed absurd.
Now, running for two hours is relatively easy. To look at me you wouldn't think so, but inside, I'm smiling. It's just getting beyond that 20km barrier.
As I come to the end of my two hours, I'm fantasising about the hot bath and the fresh orange juice - the concept of doing it all again and then some fills me with horror.
Getting back the photo from my half-marathon didn't help either. It was horrific. My running shirt had ridden up, exposing my gut which was hanging over my lycra leggings. How can I have a gut? It's so unfair! I've run bloody miles and still I have a big belly!
My eyes were rolling wildly and my little ankles and feet looked too small to carry the burden of my body. It was absolutely awful.
The women from the Titirangi running group, who've been there and done that, told me that whenever an A4-sized envelope turns up in their mail within a month of running a race, they throw it straight in the rubbish bin. No one, not even Alison Roe, looks flash finishing a race. I'll take their advice. But it's knocked my confidence for six.
There has been some good news. I don't have a stress fracture - which is a miracle when you look at the photo. So that's something. And I can run 21km now without too much hardship. But the finish line is looking a very long way off.
<i>Kerre Woodham</i>: With race day not far away, I'm not sure I can do this
Opinion by Kerre McIvorLearn more
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