The Korean archers used snakes. The Chinese called in a tiger. A Nepalese athlete reported on herself. Muslim athletes were offered live lambs to slaughter. Spectators were banned from the ten-pin bowling. A Buddhist monk won gold.
Welcome to the 16th Asian Games.
Competition is fierce and, in certain sports, world class. It is said to be the biggest multisport event ever staged, with 476 gold medals up for grabs in 42 sports (the 2008 Beijing Olympics offered 302 in 28 sports).
The lower qualifying standards allow federations to send much bigger teams. Iran sent 359 athletes to Guangzhou, while just 55 went to Beijing.
It means a huge disparity in performance and ability and the more relaxed atmosphere, and pure variety from the world's most diverse continent, produces a colourful event.
After they won gold, the Korean archery team proudly talked about their special training methods, which included the handling of snakes to "enhance bravery". The sport requires nerves of steel and an ability to control your heartbeat, exactly what is necessary with a reptilian encounter.
Not to be outdone, the Chinese shooters revealed that a close encounter with a tiger was part of their pre-competition preparation. Members of the team were taken to a zoo and required to touch the rear end of the big cat to help with controlling emotions.
"The most important thing was for the team to gain hands-on experience and this was the best training they could get," said the Chinese coach.
Meanwhile, Buddhist monk Kenki Sato took equestrian gold, saying it was part of the "special life path" he was on. On his mount, curiously named Toy Boy, the Japanese rider said the sport complimented his religion perfectly.
"I do what most monks do and take both elements seriously," he said. "I want to combine this monk identity with the rider identity. I would like to pursue a special life path."
The Asian Games fell within the Islamic Corban Festival and the Chinese hosts were accommodating. Muslim athletes and media were told they could buy a sheep for RMB1000 ($203), which would then be killed according to custom.
"If you want to slaughter the livestock yourself, that can be arranged," the notice earnestly spelled out, but it was forbidden to take slaughtered livestock back into the Asian Games media or athlete villages.
The Timor Este beach volleyball team endured an uncomfortable debut, not only losing badly but also being forced to play in bikinis for the very first time.
At home in their strict Muslim country, they practise in trousers and long sleeved shirts. It was also the first time their coach had seen them in swimsuits and he appeared not to know where to look during team talks between sets.
Nepal's No 2-ranked badminton player lost her matches in the early rounds of both the singles and doubles - and then proceeded to interview herself. Sujana Shrestha studied journalism and was covering the event for a Nepalese newspaper.
A Hong Kong fencer was happy to reveal he hasn't changed his competition undergarments for a decade, after finding some early success.
"I always wear the same socks, underwear and even clothes to competitions," he explained. "About 10 years ago, I wore them, had some success and now they are always set aside for good luck, though the socks have holes in them now."
Remember the medal girls from Beijing with the perfect white dresses, immaculate postures and stunning smiles? Not to be outdone, the Guangzhou organising committee spent a year scouring China's universities, reportedly interviewing one million candidates before settling on the 376 etiquette girls.
One, Wu Yi, was nicknamed Miss Smile and became an internet hit. She was caught on camera smiling continously for more than 10 minutes at the opening ceremony.
Another made the headlines for the wrong reasons, fainting before a presentation ceremony at the dragon boating. "It was a pity [as] my fainting made the service imperfect," she said of her graceful fall from, ahem, grace.
Ten-pin bowling came and went with a whimper. With a lack (or maybe degree) of foresight, organisers failed to allow for any room in the stadium for fans.
The bowlers said they were used to performing without support but the sport's lack of impact means it's unlikely to be retained for the next Games.
The Games also featured an 11-year-old Taiwanese boy competing in chess against a 66-year-old Malaysian.
A 14-year-old won gold for China in swimming's 400m individual medley and was surprisingly honest in the post-race interviews.
"I have to put up with the training. Sometimes I can't bring myself to train but I'm fighting for a better life for my family, so I have to do this," said Ye Shiwen, who was discovered at the age of six when a teacher noticed her large hands.
The Mongolian baseball team lost all three matches with a combined deficit of 64-0. They had endured a 22-hour bus ride just to get to the Games after flying into Beijing and finding they didn't have enough money for the flight south to Guangzhou.
Their sevens rugby team had a similar struggle, conceding 195 points in the group stages without scoring themselves. .
"In Mongolia, our national sport is wrestling, so that's why we have such strong forwards," coach Dashdendev Gansukh explained. "We need to find some sprinters, as sevens is a much faster game."
An Afghan golfer still holds on to a dream to turn professional, despite finishing 194 shots behind the leader. Ali Ahmad Fazel, wearing a white polo shirt with Kabul Golf Club emblazoned on it, fired a 40-over par 112 in the fourth round, which was a marked improvement on his opening 58-over-par score of 130.
His four-round total of 467 is something most Sunday hackers would better but he had one good excuse - it was his first time playing on grass.
* Michael Burgess was in China with support from the Asia New Zealand foundation.
Asian Games with a difference
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