You know your cricket team is in trouble when the coach says: "I don't have a clue".
That was the droll self-analysis from Wellington-based Melanie Snaddon, coach of the Kapiti Old Boys Cricket Club Wildcats team – full of 8- and 9-year-olds who had only won one game all season.
Oh, they drew one as well. "That felt like a win," grins Snaddon. "I realise it is not all about winning but the kids were expecting to lose – and only wondering by how much…".
Snaddon became coach only because no one else would take it on. Her son Jacob wanted to play and the club emailed all the parents when the team was formed, seeking a volunteer. No one put their hand up.
"So I said I would do it if they were desperate. They came right back and said, "Yep, we're desperate; you're it."
Snaddon had hoped a few college students would be able to help her out, including her Year 10 nephew – but he wanted to play cricket and train himself, so she was largely left to her own devices.
Desperate herself, she wrote to ANZ's Get On Top Of Your Game programme with a beguilingly, self-deprecating letter outlining why her boys needed help.
Boy, did they get it.
ANZ organised a surprise coaching experience with Mike Hesson, coach of the Black Caps – plus a clinic involving Trent Boult, Todd Astle, Tim Southee and Kane Williamson at the Basin Reserve, ahead of the Black Caps' clash with England.
Snaddon wasn't there when the boys were picked up to go to the Basin, but was told that the only sound made was the noise of jaws hitting the ground as a team of shy lads realised the elite company they would be keeping that day.
"They thought they were going to the Basin to watch the Black Caps train. They didn't realise they would be training with them," she says.
"It was such a boost for them. Some of the boys hadn't played cricket before, some had played a year or two ago but not since and we were a mis-matched lot from four different schools. In comparison, the teams we play against are generally all from the same school and have that unity and team spirit.
"That's the thing I valued most about the coaching session with the Black Caps. It was so great to see the boys in awe and enjoying themselves with their heroes. When I got there, they came screaming over to tell me what was going on – it really buzzed them out.
"But the big thing was watching that team spirit grow."
There were practical considerations too. The team's gear didn't fit many of them – the pads were so big, some couldn't run in them. So ANZ kitted out the team with a full junior gear bag including new bats, gloves, balls, helmets and pads.
The boys didn't get to watch the game against England – though that didn't stop one imp asking Hesson if he could get them tickets: "He [the boy] didn't get them but it was a sign to me that their confidence was growing," she says.
ANZ head of sponsorship, Sue McGregor, says: "We chose Melanie because of her humour and honesty and because coaches are such an important part of grassroots cricket. They selflessly give their time and we wanted to recognise her efforts.
"Sometimes all you need is just that little bit of extra help to achieve, so we are committed to helping as many cricket players, coaches and fans as we can."
Snaddon says she will carry on coaching and ANZ is also providing her with some ongoing one-on-one coaching sessions to help her be the best she can be. However, she would gladly welcome the arrival of a real cricket-savvy coach or assistant.
So, after the help from ANZ and the Black Caps, it will be interesting to chart the progress of the Kapiti Old Boys Cricket Club Wildcats.