"It has really crept up and smacked me in the face," Jane Weekes told the Herald on Sunday.
A conversation with a friend sending her child off to school brought home to Weekes what she and her husband Martin are missing.
"I had been avoiding thinking about it but there have been a few unexpected breakdowns," Weekes said.
"I've found myself crying over what they, Martin and I are missing out on."
Weekes is working through a three-year degree in counselling "to help others in similar situations", but also to help herself.
"To lose one child is horrific, it is awful," she said. "To lose all three doesn't make sense, it is too much to absorb.
"It defies comprehension."
Weekes said working on her counselling degree had given the couple ways to work through the grief and find happiness.
"I have learned you don't ever get over it but you find happiness in different things.
"You learn to live around the grief, to make room for happiness."
Parker and Poppy have helped the couple fill the emptiness left by the triplets. They "are their own different little people", but there are moments when the twins remind their parents of their older siblings.
The way Parker holds his mouth is just like Willsher. The way he takes things apart, just like Jackson.
Parker and Poppy are both outgoing and love to be around people. Just like their brothers and sister, they never hide behind their parents.
Three years on from the devastating blaze, Jane and Martin said their healing would be helped if the people charged over the mall fire and deaths were held accountable.
