KEY POINTS:
Most of the problems people experience at work have little to do with the job and have more to do with poor communication, insecurity and self-doubt.
That's the view of American Dan Millman, who visited New Zealand for the first time last month to present a seminar based on his best-selling book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior.
The book caused a small ripple when it was first published in 1980 and, while it has never been out of print, a revised version released in 2000 became a best-seller. Two years ago, the book was the basis of a feature film starring Nick Nolte.
Millman, 62, is a former world champion athlete, university coach, martial arts instructor and college professor. In all, he has written 13 self-help books and delivered countless morale-boosting presentations.
He says the basic premise of the peaceful warrior concept is that most people are searching for a peaceful heart. But people also need a warrior spirit.
"By `warrior spirit' I am not talking about fighting, but a recognition that it takes a certain type of courage to live in this world," says Millman.
"Insecurity is a part of life. So I view every human being as a peaceful warrior in training. The important battles are inside, with self-doubt, insecurity, the idea that we think we can't do something. I advise people in business to dream big but start small and connect the dots."
Millman, who was a sports coach at Harvard University at age 22, says his books and presentations offer people fundamental life skills.
"I started out by creating talent for sports and I was pretty good at that," he says. "But my interest changed and expanded into how we create talent for living. These include relationships, finances and career, health and fitness, because these are often the areas of dilemma for people."
While much of what he has to offer is aimed at people wanting to live a more harmonious and peaceful life, Millman appears to have plenty to offer managers and those who want a more enjoyable time at work.
"Living for the moment can be profoundly valuable," he says. "Most people are anxious about the future, such as a business meeting, or regretful about something they said, or didn't say ...
"Living for now is fundamental. Mark Twain summed it up like this: `I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.'
"The past and the future can be nice places to visit. But you don't want to live there. Thinking about a happy event is fine, planning for the future is okay too - but don't get too attached to the future because things change."
As a former world trampoline champion, Millman says people expect to find it hard training to be a success at sport. But going to do a day's work is no different; he says it takes just as much effort and determination.
"I say that sport is a sort of voluntary adversity," he says. "And through adversity - be it sport, raising children or going to work - we get through it and then look back and say, `Yeah, I'm a little stronger now, somewhat wiser and have a better perspective'.
"You may even end up being a little more compassionate, having gone through those difficulties."
Millman says people welcome adversity in sport to improve their performance. But when it comes to the office, construction site, machine shop or factory, they just hope for the best.
"Being at work is just another form of voluntary adversity," he says. "In the business world everyone just expects life to go smoothly. That doesn't mean we have to pretend to like the challenges we face. We need to address them to solve problems and use those experiences to grow."
Millman says that if managers can understand the principles of process and practice and learn to listen as well as they speak, then they will understand that different things motivate different members of their staff.
"Nobody ever listened themselves out of a job," he says. "There are practical things managers can do in terms of tuning into their staff.
"There are many schemes and programmes out there about how to motivate your staff _ but the universal human need is to feel good about themselves more of the time instead of less of the time, to feel that they are accomplishing something worthwhile and to feel that their work counts for something."
He doesn't believe managers should have to pump people up to motivate them every day.
"External motivation doesn't last," says Millman. "Once the external source goes away, the feeling fades. After one of my seminars, a member of the audience came up and said how great they felt. I said, `Don't worry, it will pass'."
He suggests that managers remind their staff of the meaning and value of the work they do.
"People like to hear that their work is important and that it counts for something," says Millman. "I'd sum it up as being compassionate and kind.
"As philosopher Albert Schweitzer said, `Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing'.
"Leadership is not about getting people to do things. Leading is about doing things by example, doing them well and raising ... expectations.
"I believe being a good manager is about speaking to the strengths in people rather than to the weaknesses in them. To see them as capable, to be there to support them and for them to know that if they need something then you will be there for them if you can."
Millman believes managers must lead by example and says that while he does not want to compare managers and parents, both have people who look to them for leadership.
"Children are not very good at listening to what their parents tell them, but they never fail to imitate them, and every parent realises this. The best way to raise happy children is to be a good example to them.
"At work, there is authority, there is a higher figure and, if the manager becomes a moralistic judging person, that can threaten someone's job or review and grade them - like a school report card - then that is one kind of manager.
"Another is there saying, `My job is to make sure everything is going well for everyone'. They are not there to keep them happy, but to be a source of leadership, and that means being a positive influence.
"So if people see that their manager is doing their job well, then they will more likely want to follow that. We see it in the school system when you have an inspiring teacher - most of us can remember at least one teacher that inspired us or saw something in us that other people didn't."
Millman says people at work are not looking for happiness, but a sense of meaning, purpose and connection in life.
"And if their work represents that to them, then you are going to have workers you can't stop," he says. "Just get out of their way. But if they don't see any meaning in what they are doing then there is no way you can motivate them."
Perhaps money will help?
"Giving them a raise is not going to do it," says Millman. "They have to see the bigger picture. Working for money is like an athlete practising just so they can win a trophy - they are missing the point."
For a happier workplace, Millman says people need to relax and stop being so competitive.
"The problem with the competitive mind is a problem related to Darwinian survival," he says. "We see ourselves as this skin bag, this separate other from everyone else that needs to raise ourselves above other people, and that is an extremely unhealthy and unhappy place to be in the workplace. Protecting ourselves, not sharing information.
"When people shift to a more collaborative mindset being at work can be a much happier experience."
Just over two years ago - months before he turned 60 - Millman decided to teach himself how to ride a unicycle. Just to see if he was up to the challenge.
"Riding it was just impossible at first," he says. "I got on it and fell right off, it was discouraging at times. I ended up in a tennis court and it took me one hour to get around it hanging on to the fence.
"But after three weeks and many spills I was able to ride it. Everything is difficult until it becomes easy."
And that is - according to Millman - the bottom line to life, work and business. Then, with a bit of practice and a change in attitude, anything can be as easy as riding a bike.
CONTACT STEVE HART AT www.stevehart.co.nz
