As she prepares to face three of the toughest days since her husband Scott Guy's killing - his birthday, Christmas Day and their wedding anniversary - Kylee Guy is vowing never to let "Scotty" be forgotten.
That includes honouring his wish that this Christmas his young sons - Hunter, 2, and Drover, 3 months - become little cowboys, just like him.
Kylee Guy has written a heartfelt plea for her husband's killer to "do the right and decent thing" and confess, a move she says will help her begin to heal. The father of two young sons was gunned down in the driveway of his Feilding farm on July 8.
Kylee Guy told the Herald on Sunday: "Scotty and I had already talked about Christmas ideas for both Hunter and Drover. I am trying my hardest to fulfil Scotty's wishes, knowing he wanted his boys to be little cowboys just like him."
Hunter is especially excited that Santa is coming, but knowing Scott wouldn't be there to watch him open his presents, and share the joy on his face, is "heartbreaking".
But before the family faces Christmas, they will mark Scott's birthday. On Tuesday he would have turned 32; Kylee says she will get together with his family to remember him.
"The whole day will be all about our beautiful Scotty. Hunter and I have made him lots of pictures with both Hunter and Drover's hand and foot prints. We will be with close family and friends, sharing memories and photos of our happier times with our special Scotty. I will never, ever let Scotty be forgotten."
Kylee says her husband loved being the birthday boy and knowing that he wouldn't feel that again is destroying her.
"Hunter still thinks Daddy is coming home and talks about him all the time and every night he always says 'love you my daddy' and blows him kisses."
She thanked all the "compassionate people" who had sent letters and gifts, as well as her family, friends and police.
"You have all touched me and I am eternally grateful for everything.
"I just wish Scotty could come home so I can hear his voice, feel his warm cuddles and his unconditional love. I ask him everyday to come home, I need him to come home."
- To speak to a member of the police investigation team, contact 0800 808 585. Or to provide anonymous information phone Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.
Wife's sad plea to Guy's killer
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