When separated parents fight over custody in the Family Court, their children inevitably become the victims. In this three-part series, Jane Phare looks at who’s to blame, the damaging effect on young people and their parents, and what can be done to limit the trauma.
Tracy* was at home one night when the police arrived to inform her of a “without notice” protection order taken out by her former husband. Suddenly the 50/50 child care agreement was on hold. She had dropped her children at their primary school that morning; she would not be able to do that for more
than a year. She was accused of the most bizarre and alarming allegations, she says.
“He went to town on me. Everything that could possibly have got it across the line [the protection order] he threw in there. The things that were in it, I wouldn’t have wanted that person near my children.”
Among other things, Tracy was accused of being mentally unstable and an alcoholic. After that came a without-notice interim custody notice. She didn’t see her children for a month after the police visit, and only during very limited supervised access, with a stranger in the room, 13 months after that. The loss of her children caused her to become depressed which she says fuelled the claims that she was an unfit mother.
People around her knew, she says.
“You’re left with shame and anger and confusion. The court takes no responsibility. "
Shortly before a hearing, the applications were suddenly withdrawn and 50/50 shared care was restored. But the wounds are still deep. Tracy says her children were left with behavioural and emotional problems, and that she suffers from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
Read the whole series below
