“But there is hope and you can get out of it just like I have.”
Park said never in his wildest dreams would he have thought to approach the media to share his story and he previously believed that he would take his secret to his grave.
“But I realised that wouldn’t do any good to anybody. There is so much stigma around mental health that I can’t emphasise enough.”
Park said over the last six years, he had undergone multiple episodes of psychosis – a collection of systems that affect the mind and distort the perception of reality.
It all started when he first went to Australia in 2017 to celebrate his 21st birthday with his friends, he said. On a flight back to Whangārei his friends were quick to notice and point out his unusual behaviour.
“If I had to describe the feeling, it was like having a nightmare that you can never wake up from.”
In the days that followed, Park had trouble falling asleep. He even went three days without sleep despite being exhausted.
Close friend Chanelle Anderson recalled Park telling her that he felt worse with every passing day and was getting more paranoid.
He told her that the television was saying things to him, Anderson said.
Park said at first his parents didn’t make much out of his “change” but over time realised that he needed help and admitted him to the mental health unit Tumanako at Whangārei Hospital.
He vividly remembered his desperate attempts to knock himself out at the facility and once ended up in the intensive care unit (ICU).
“In the first few days, it was the same old delusion of hearing voices but a few days later I just snapped out of it and realised it was all psychosis.”
Park said after he got better and was released from Tumanako he decided to go down to Dunedin to complete his degree in psychology and criminology.
However, in his third year at his university he was admitted to the mental health facility in Dunedin after a big night out triggered another episode of psychosis.
After he recovered he decided to move closer to home and lived with his brother in Auckland as he finished his final year of studies in 2018.
Everything was going well, Park said, until the summer break when he made the stupid mistake of smoking marijuana.
“It triggered my psychosis in a really bad way as I had trouble sleeping again and woke up the next day with the feeling of dying.”
Anderson remembers the day when Park attempted suicide. She had woken up to the multiple messages from Park’s brother about what had happened.
“When I went to meet Kun. He looked scared.”
Park thanked his good friend Anderson, his family and other friends for being supportive throughout his journey of transformation and recovery.
“The truth is I don’t think I’d be here today without their help,” Park said.
“To all the whānau, friends and healthcare workers, I want to say that there is hope and that we need to show as much support as possible.
“That the community must work together to reduce the stigma and increase support around mental health illnesses,” he said.
SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION Where to get help:
Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
Youth services: (06) 3555 906 Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234 What’s Up: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)
Depression helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202 (available 24/7) Helpline: Need to talk? Call or text 1737
Avneesh Vincent is the crime and emergency services reporter at the Advocate. He was previously at the Gisborne Herald as the arts and environment reporter and is passionate about covering stories that can make a difference. He joined NZME in July 2023.
