Warring couple head for court in $40m bust-up

Two wealthy couples have split - one after the wife ran off with a hired hand.

The case of the runaway wife has been settled out of court, but the other case is set to become one of the largest divorce fights the country has seen.

Up to $40 million in assets and finances are believed to be at stake.

Both couples have amassed fortunes worth many millions of dollars. They have property on some of our most exclusive streets and enjoy exclusive getaway properties.

The Herald on Sunday cannot name the couple who are going to court because the law provides anonymity in cases involving children.

The couple have three young children.

The newspaper has agreed not to name the other couple, married for almost 20 years, who also have young children.

The wife ran off with a hired hand, who earns a fraction of her former husband's income.

A lawyer acting for the couple sought an injunction to prevent the Herald on Sunday from publishing details leading to the identification of his clients, but the parties came to an agreement late on Friday.

Family law experts told the Herald on Sunday that blame did not affect settlements, even in cases of extramarital affairs. Instead, partners could rely on a 50/50 settlement.

They also said that the recession had placed couples under greater stress.

Lawyer Geoff Harrison said financial pressures had hit the marriages of the wealthy.

"Often they end because the relationship has gone financially bust."

For some, the loss of wealth was "not unlike when there has been a death of a child".

"It puts unbearable pressure on everybody and they can't cope with living together and they blame each other."

Harrison said the pressure was greater on the rich than those with "only a rusty Toyota" to fight over.

Lawyer Alan Gluestein also said money worries could end a marriage. "There is no doubt that financial problems have been a major stressor in the breakdown of relationships."

Gluestein said he knew of middle-income couples who had ended their marriage but been unable to move out and away from each other.

Their most valuable asset was the family home and the property market plunge meant it would not sell, or would not sell for enough to cover the mortgage. This forced couples to continue living together.

Gluestein said most separating couples settled without going to the Family Court.

He estimated 5 to 10 per cent of divorces wound up in court and could take up to three years to be finalised. Cases involving children were given precedence.

"You don't go to court unless it is a last resort. Sometimes, sadly, people adopt unreasonable positions."

University of Auckland associate professor Pauline Tapp also said court was there for those "stupid enough to waste their money" when almost all divorces could be resolved through lawyers.

Tapp said delays, legal costs and the resourcing of the Family Court made it an unappealing option. "It seems to me that many of the people who go to a defended hearing either have real personal problems or mental problems. Bad relationship breakdown - they are out to get revenge."

Massey university sex researcher Dr Michelle Mars said that for some married women, forming relationships with those hired to work around the house offered the housebound equivalent of an office romance.

Mars also said women were more likely to leave a relationship if they were unhappy with their sex lives. Research showed 80 per cent of men would stay in a relationship even if it did not give them "the sex they want".

However, 80 per cent of women would leave. "If you haven't had sex for a while and you're getting the most amazing sex - well, that's so much better than money."

Mars said the search for intimacy and a physical relationship was more important than a relationship with a wealthy man who was not present.

Money no buffer to breaking up

Case 1 - The $40m fight

They met when she was a girl about town, with bold social schemes and an ability to network. He had a business plan that showed promise and an ambition to build it.

That fledgling business grew and helped the couple amass a fortune - which they are now heading to Family Court to divide.

They also have three children, which means the Herald on Sunday cannot legally reveal anything that identifies the couple.

But we can report that they own some of the most exclusive real estate in Auckland and have large tracts of land outside the Queen city.

Their business has been so successful that the couple have rubbed shoulders with some of the most powerful people in the land.

In keeping with their fortune, they are each represented by the elite of New Zealand's family lawyers - Deborah Hollings QC and Anne Hinton QC.

Family law experts say that if the case is left to go through court, it could take years to find closure.

Case 2 - The boatbuilder

One of Auckland's wealthiest couples has split after the wife formed a relationship with a boatbuilder who is now a salesman.

The affair was the final straw in a marriage of almost 20 years. It ended with the wealthy matriarch, in her 40s, leaving to form a relationship with the man, in his 30s.

We can't tell you who they are but can reveal the new relationship began after the married couple spent some of their fortune on a new launch.

The relationship brought an end to the boatbuilder's job - and produced large legal bills for the couple in settling the divorce.

The couple had lived in a mansion, which she has since moved out of.

The owner of the boatbuilding company was alerted to the relationship when the husband in the relationship telephoned to alert him 10 months after the new boat was launched.

After a few meetings, and the realisation the relationship would not be salvaged, the boatbuilder agreed to resign.