A police officer speaks with a dairy owner after a ram raid caused significant damage to a shop in Ellerslie. Photo / Hayden Woodward, File
A police officer speaks with a dairy owner after a ram raid caused significant damage to a shop in Ellerslie. Photo / Hayden Woodward, File
OPINION
“We cannot lock up, fine, or punish our way to healthy living. It’s not about a second chance – these children and their parents never got a first chance.
“Society pays the price eventually. Those at the bottom pay first. The only way out is to respond with fair,healthy economic and social policies.”
So said Te Whatu Ora Chair, Rob Campbell when he posted “Rebuilding parenting skills would help kids get a better start” (NZ Herald, January 3) on LinkedIn.
It generated a lot of supportive discussion and 30,000-plus views. Some suggested solutions in programmes they had seen funded, which later governments defunded.
One referred to Stephen Dubner who had interviewed his Freakonomics co-author Steven Levitt on “unwanted” children and crime. He summarised: “If unwantedness is such a powerful influencer on people’s lives, then we should try to do things to make sure that children are wanted.”
Levitt suggests we think about how we would “create a world in which kids grow up more loved and more appreciated and with brighter futures. Is that better early education? Is that permits for parents? Or training for parents? Or minimum incomes?”
The tragedy is not enough is spent on solving the problem and supporting the mana of parenting. It’s an election year, so here are some “how” ideas for politicians.
Some are programmes that are proven and need to be expanded. Others are new ideas which may need incubating as we do with start-ups. We don’t have to wait for Government either, we can donate to these charities.
Fund more HIPPY programmes – well-researched, home-based parenting run by Great Potentials - an early childhood learning programme that empowers parents and carers to be their child’s first teacher. It builds the confidence and skills of parents to prepare their children for school and offers some parents a supported pathway to employment.
Children need a stable home. If you’re living in a state house, perhaps it should be compulsory for your children to go to a free early childhood centre and to see a doctor at least annually. Perhaps create added incentives for parents who do parenting courses, such as we do to reduce the restricted licence time with a defensive driving course.
In Sweden, whole apartments are built for single mothers and their children - creating community, support and encouragement, and safe places. Perhaps attach an older grandmother who can offer advice/guidance instead of living in a retirement or state flat?
Remember Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? No one can focus on belonging or esteem when their basic survival needs – a home, clothing, food and warmth or sleep – are not satisfied.
Reinstate relationship counselling funding. Even a little bit of funding is better than nothing if it helps an individual begin to look at their own pain and trauma.
Instead of tipping new mums out of hospital, teach some mothering skills while they are there and provide better wrap-around care for mother and baby to ensure they have what they need for longer.
Make parenting skills education freely available. There are so many brilliant NGOs that could take this on. For example, “Tuning Into Teens” is a six-week programme, with a focus on emotions designed to support parents establish stronger relationships with their teenage rangatahi.
Fund mentor programmes such as Great Potentials MATES and the Rising Foundation to encourage young people to stay at school and get mentoring encouragement.
The two at-risk moments are transitioning from intermediate to high school and high school to tertiary learning. Research has shown that a combination of mentoring and tutoring increases academic achievement, raises aspirations, and enhances self-confidence for those at risk of underachieving. The mentors get back so much satisfaction too.
We need a no-violence campaign led by men. What if every workplace across the motu, every school, every sports club signed up for a “no violence, full stop campaign”?
We need to explain what “no violence” looks like so victims start to recognise its nuances and learn where to turn for support.
Victoria Carter. Photo / Supplied
Too many young people haven’t seen their own parents go to work. The concept of routine, regular meals, going to bed early, the structure so many of us take for granted is unknown to them.
Instead of boot camp, trial “nanny camp”.
Suitable nanas are well paid to live onsite at a motel (like we did with people returning home from overseas during Covid) with young people the police may have identified. They learn routine, being “mothered”, get counselling support, attend school, get healthy food and begin to feel part of their community.
With hospitals and rest homes desperate for low-paid unskilled workers, what if these young people were incentivised to volunteer to clean, support, and make a difference? This could support their empathic development as well as learning skills, as the Puppies in Prison programme has shown.
Finally, get the Productivity Commission to measure the programmes.
It will take time but, without any investment, as Dave Letele said recently about ram raids: “If we think things are bad now, and we don’t do anything, imagine the kids of these kids.”
Victoria Carter, ONZM, is a businesswoman and a former city councillor.
