Variety Club Bash: All souped-up

Ford decks out its Zephyr MkIII in blue to mark the 20th anniversary of the Variety Club Bash. Photo / Jacqui Madelin

The Variety Club Bash is a road trip with a difference. The drivers raise money to enter their outlandishly decorated classic vehicles. Then they drive NZ's back roads and give it all away.

This is the 20th year of the bash, and Ford's been there since the start. We joined its Zephyr MkIII entry to celebrate the anniversary with 20 grants in 20 hours.

What's new?
The paint job for Ford's Zephyr, a smart blue with retro flames and Ford logos replacing the outdated red and yellow.

It's a NZ-new car, built here and running the original MkIII 2.5-litre straight-six engine, albeit rebuilt. That delivers 73kW at 4750rpm and 189Nm at 2000rpm via a four-speed column shift manual transmission.

Other than that, the car's only had standard maintenance, and the cabin and ancillaries are definitely showing wear.

The company line
Ford sponsors the Variety Bash - and Variety by supplying Fords for its staff to drive year-round. How much has it raised? New communications manager Tom Clancy says Ford doesn't track it, "And we don't put a cash value on time and vehicles". Some of the money raised comes via buckets and sponsored silliness along the route, but this time, "We raised over $13,000 in cash and grants via Ford staff and dealers throughout NZ".

What we say
Variety has distributed more than $11.7 million to Kiwi kids in need, with everything from books to vans. Of Ford's 20 grants in 20 hours, 10 supplied sports equipment or new books, all to decile one schools. Four car seats went to Plunket, a disabled boy got a new trike, a 13-year-old girl received an insulin pump to help cope with diabetes and maintain the social and sporting life of a typical teen, cash grants went to three kindys, and the team volunteered manual labour at Te Kowhai Hospice in Masterton.

On the road
You can't miss the Bash - the vehicles are brightly painted, draped in flags, and tooting horns while the fire engines conduct kiddy-pleasing water-fights.

The AA and the air force help fix the inevitable breakdowns classic cars suffer.

As for our Zephyr, that low-torque peak means you shift up early and the engine pulls strongly enough to cruise at the open-road speed limit, no worries. The brakes require firm application and a bit of anticipation of road conditions, while steering is a touch vague. Still, it's a characterful beast and I'd happily drive it again.

Why you'll enter
You've got a classic car, a healthy sense of the ridiculous, and like the concept of a road trip that helps Kiwi kids in need.

Why you won't
You've no sense of humour, no classic car, and no energy to raise money for the fee. It doesn't take a major sponsor. The cupcake girls baked and sold their goodies for a year to bring their Mini from Australia.