Olga does her best to stay strong for her children, but it is hard to hide the growing fear she has for her husband’s future as the conflict engulfing their country inches closer to their home. Video / World Vision / NZ Herald
The NZ Herald is joining forces with World Vision to help as 3.5 million Ukrainian women and children flee their country in the world's fastest-growing humanitarian emergency since World War II. World Vision Emergency Communications specialist Brianna Piazza reports on the refugee exodus from neighbouring Romania.
I don't think I will ever forget the agony on Olga's face, her bloodshot eyes telling a story of sadness and exhaustion before she even opens her mouth to speak.
I met Olga and her three sons, Oleksandr (17 - name changed for his protection), Dmitri (11) and Iurii (6) at a World Vision-supported refugee shelter in Iasi, Romania this week.
While many refugees have told me of their pain at leaving their husbands behind to fight, no one has shared the depth of their grief like Olga.
"We had to leave my husband behind," she said holding back tears.
"Leaving him was very difficult. I cannot tell you how difficult it was. My sons, they were hysterical, they were crying the whole journey here. We have never been separated from him before."
Your urgent donation will provide vital essentials for children & families affected by the crisis in Ukraine. Please click here to donate now at worldvision.org.nz
As we sit to talk, the family huddle together on a makeshift bed, Olga protectively putting her arms around her sons.
There is an almost unimaginable depth of grief etched into her face. Despite having her children beside her, without her beloved husband, Olga says she feels lost and alone.
"He is the most important member in our family. We raised our three sons together. It is our family. We don't have anyone else. We don't have relatives anywhere, and none outside of Ukraine."
While Olga does her best to stay strong for her children, it is hard to hide the growing fear she has for her husband's future as the conflict engulfing their country inches closer to their home.
"Yesterday evening we were told that rockets had started to drop over Bilhorod-Dnistrovskyi (near Odesa), which is just two kilometres from our house," she said.
"I have tried calling my husband several times, but he doesn't respond. I got scared and panicked. But the people here at the shelter, they calmed me and told me that everything would be alright."
Desperate to connect with the man she has loved for 22 years, Olga's anxiety levels grow by the minute. Her children play around her with toys given to them in the shelter, but she is irritated and distracted – she will try calling her husband again soon.
Olga has fled Odesa with her three sons, 17-year-old son Oleksandr (name changed), Dmitri (11) and Iurii (6). Photo / World Vision
Olga tells me of the idyllic family life she and her husband had created on their dairy farm in Ukraine.
"I have a lot of beautiful memories of home. We built our own home and on our land, we kept cows, bulls, sheep, goats, chickens, and geese. We were selling dairy products - milk, cottage cheese, cheese, sour cream, and cream - I made them at home and we sold them. My husband was running the farm, but the kids and I helped him take care of it. And now we've had to leave it all behind."
She says that leaving her husband was the hardest decision she has ever had to make. More than anything the family wanted to stay together, but as soon as rockets started flying above their home Olga and her husband knew they had to get their sons to safety.
"My husband asked me to leave. Only then, I agreed. And then I felt fear, and without having too much time to think, I gathered my things and we had to leave."
Olga tells me that this is the first time they have ever left their home city, let alone travelled outside of Ukraine, unsettling changes that do not make the upheaval they are facing any easier.
She says that they hope to find temporary accommodation in Romania as they wait for the conflict to end, before returning home.
"We want to stay here until the war stops because I don't want to move anywhere else. Honestly, I don't want to go far from our home. I hope everything will be alright and we will go back home."
The faint hope of returning home is something that Olga's children cling to. It is clear to see that just like their mum they love and miss their dad immensely. All they have of him now is a photo in one of his identity documents they bought with them for safekeeping.
"They cry and they are worried," said Olga. "It's hard of course. They've never been separated from him before. We have been together as a family since they were kids. No one helped us raise them and teach them. It was always just us. It is so hard for them to be separated from their father."
I ask Olga's eldest son Oleksandr what his dad is like. He smiles.
"He is a wonderful man. Our father can calmly overcome any situation, even if it is extremely hard. He always overcomes."
But without his father there to guide them, Oleksandr is taking on the responsibilities of looking after his family. It is a role no child should have to take on.
"Before we left, he told me to watch out for my mother and my brothers. Now I am grown up so I must look out for them."
"Yes… "he trails off, the huge weight he now carries on his shoulders evident, "I must be responsible one way or another."
Softening a little bit of the pain of being away from their husband and dad, is the kindness shown by volunteers at the shelter – warmth Olga says she has never experienced before.
"I want there to be more people like this in the world,' she said of the volunteers. "This is the first time I've experienced this. They treat us like family, like a brother or sister. When we arrived, we were offered food, drinks, and a warm, clean place to sleep. I am very thankful to those people."
While they are safe at the shelter right now, Olga cannot escape the incomprehensible fear that she might not see her husband again.
"If something happens to my husband it will be very difficult for us because he's the only person that supports our family."
Struggling for words, she shakes her head.
"We just want him to… how can I say this… to be okay. Because without him, we won't survive."
Ukraine Crisis Appeal: Where your money goes
Your support will help children and families affected by the crisis in Ukraine with
• Psychosocial support to help kids cope with trauma
Your urgent donation will provide vital essentials for children & families affected by the crisis in Ukraine. Please click here to donate now at worldvision.org.nz
