Losing her father and brother was the tragedy of Sequoia Schmidt's life but it also allowed her to become the person she needed to be. Photo / Supplied
Losing her father and brother was the tragedy of Sequoia Schmidt's life but it also allowed her to become the person she needed to be. Photo / Supplied
In her first book, Kiwi alpinist Sequoia Schmidt trekked K2 in search of her father and brothers' remains. Her second book covers her solo cycle tour of New Zealand as she comes to terms with her loss.
1 Peter Hillary has written the foreword to your new book. Was he a friend of your dad, Marty Schmidt?
Yes, Peter has a huge place in my heart because a month after Dad and my brother Denali were killed in an avalanche on K2 he came to visit me in the United States where I live now. He was someone who could relate to what it's like to lose two family members suddenly and tragically. He's been monumental for me throughout the years with advice in life and climbing.
2 How did your first book Journey of Heart: A Sojourn to K2 come about?
A couple of years ago I saw a video of a climber on K2 and in the shot there was a human head which I thought could be my brother. So I jumped on a plane to Pakistan, climbed up to advance base camp, gathered the remains in burial cloth and brought them back down. They didn't turn out to be my family but that journey was a turning point for me.
People ask about closure but from my experience five years on from that tragedy, grief doesn't just switch off. It's an ongoing process and probably will be for the rest of my life. After my first book I felt like I'd barely scratched the surface. In my new book I've allowed myself to dig deeper and really expose a lot of internal stuff. Sure, I'm cycling around New Zealand but more than anything it's about the process of grief. How do you go about daily life after something like this?
It's very hard. Every time someone asks, 'Do you have siblings?' I still well up with tears. It's such a common question. I was on a date last year and of course it's one of the first questions to come up. Then there's that awkwardness. I don't mind talking about grief because it's a topic that people generally shy away from. I find that whenever I mention my story, people will say 'I lost this person' and that opens up a genuine connection. You find out a lot about that person's character and their personal relationship with grief as well.
5 In your latest book, you visit your dad's best friend to confront him about a past grievance. Was that an important part of your grief process?
Definitely, because it had been festering inside me ever since. Being able to release that anger, I no longer hold resentment towards him. I was able to understand where he was coming from and have compassion for his side of things. As a result I now have a friendship with one of my dad's oldest and closest friends.
6 Why did you end up in CYFS care at age 10?
When our parents separated, dad had custody. Being a climber meant he was constantly away on expeditions. Because of that instability I was a very rebellious teenager and CYFS was frequently involved.
Sequoia Schmidt in Queenstown. Photo / Supplied
7 After such a difficult childhood, how did you end up a successful author, publisher and alpinist?
It really just took someone providing stability. That was my grandfather. When I was 16 I moved to Texas and lived with him. It wasn't anything in particular that he did or said. It was just being there. A huge part of life is just showing up and being consistent. I'd never had that before so that was a huge turning point for me. But I'm also who I am today because I was raised to be independent. Mum and Dad taught my brother and I to think for ourselves and not be coddled by society. The survival instinct is embedded in us.
8 You say in the book that your mother 'thinks differently'. Is there a label for that?
People try to label it all the time. She just thinks very, very differently which is hard for people to grasp. It's taken me a long time to be able to accept her for the way she is and try to understand her perspective. She's spent her life teaching in conflict zones. My firm has just published her book about her work in Afghanistan. It was cool being able to read my mother's writing because she's an adventurer in a very different way. She's a fascinating woman.
No, the adventure stuff was a part of my family that I'd rebelled against. I started a publishing company at age 16. We produce around a dozen titles a year and have just celebrated our tenth anniversary. It wasn't until my father and brother were killed that I realised that I don't want to live my life working in an office every day. I've reorganised my company so I can do two or three alpine expeditions a year.
10 What drives adventurers — is it the risk of death?
It's a big part of it. My dad and brother were well aware of that. I live what many would consider a very dangerous lifestyle but I prefer quality over quantity. Most people like being in their comfort zone, the bubble of their daily routine. Adventurers are people with an insatiable curiosity, a willingness to question the state of their norm and push their own limits — not just physically but emotionally as well.
11 What made you decide to undertake a solo cycle tour of New Zealand?
I have no idea. I literally woke up one morning and thought, "I want to cycle around New Zealand". I get these random ideas sometimes and then it's just piecing together ways to go do it. Coming back home has been incredibly emotional for me so it was great to have a physical challenge to focus on. Cycling is far better than driving because you're so much more aware of your surroundings. You really see the country and smell it and soak it in.
12 You were estranged from your father at the time of his death. Do you think you would have reconciled if you had more time?
A natural separation tends to happen in your teenage years as part of the developmental process. Cutting my family out of my life was a bit extreme but everybody processes things in their own way. Eight months before my father died, we had a coffee together, so the process of reconnection had started and undoubtedly would have happened in time. The way I see it, losing my father and brother was single handedly the greatest tragedy of my life but it also allowed me to become the person that I need to be and because of that it's also one of the greatest things that ever happened to me.
• Changing Gears: Ups and Downs on the New Zealand Road by Sequoia Schmidt. Di Angelo Publications. RRP $26.50
