Twenty minutes into our interview the flow of Roger Wolfe's words falter, he takes a half-breath and voices that which is hardest to bear.
"My wife, you know, she was a beautiful lady and she just got smashed up," he says. "That's the bit I hate most, how broken she was. She didn't want to die like that."
We spoke this week, a day before the guilty plea from the driver responsible for the accident that claimed the lives of Kay Wolfe, Willy Muller and Mark Ferguson, run down while cycling.
November 14 began like any other Sunday in the Wolfe household for Roger and Kay, children Gavin, 18, Kelly, 16, and Shane, 12.
"Life was good. It couldn't have been any better actually," says Roger. "I woke about seven and pulled the curtains up. It was a bit drizzly so I [asked] Kay 'Do you want to go riding or shall I get you a cup of tea in bed?' She said, 'No, no, I want to go see my mates and go for a ride'."
Her mates are a group of social cyclists dubbed the Cream of the Country, the name borrowed from the Morrinsville Promotions Association which coined it in reference to the surrounding rich dairying land.
Riders would meet at Muller's house in town, from where they set off on rides of up to three hours or more. That Sunday it was the quiet rolling roads of the Kiwitahi route. Muller, a 71-year-old with the exuberance of youth, was the hub.
The regular Sunday rides attracted half a dozen people when they began in 1992 and grew to 20 or more, such was the welcome they extended.
"That was Willy," says Ian Angus, 59, who was among the 10 riding that day. "He had an awful lot of acquaintances, friends. He never really saw bad in anybody. He welcomed everyone and that was the format of the Cream of the Country."
Riders that day spanned three generations, had varied occupations, interests and intellect which, says bank manager Angus, makes the group all the richer. Farmers, vets, dairy company workers, builders, policemen, retailers, bonded by the bike, the endorphins and a desire "to have fun".
"They all have something different to offer and it is really quite neat."
Roger Wolfe: "Kay headed off about 8am. I watched the rugby test [All Blacks v Scotland] then headed in to take Shane to tennis and on the way I got the phone call. My boy [Gavin, also on the ride] rang and said there'd been a crash. I thought someone might have just touched wheels. I said I'd come out and pick them up but Gavin told me not to go. I [insisted] and he had to shout me down, I suppose. Then he handed the phone to a policeman...
"I went to Nola's [Muller's wife]. I told her there had been a crash and we just waited for information. Then we heard through the cellphone, texting, that Willy got killed."
On the Friday two days earlier, Roger (a cyclist too) and Kay spent an evening at the Hamilton casino with the Mullers. "Lovely couple. Yep, good friends," says Roger. "This is what's happened - we've lost two good friends as well."
One hour into the ride they stopped by Kiwitahi School for the stragglers to regroup.
"They would have been having a good time, smiling, yakking away and then they didn't even get a chance."
Angus describes how they set off again in single file on a cruisy downhill until just before Hyndmans Quarry. The road was damp from earlier drizzle.
Driving in the other direction on her way to the first day of a new job, Kristy King, 23, rounded a bend so moderate it doesn't warrant a road sign recommending a speed less than 100kph.
She has told police that she braked when she saw the cyclists, somehow put her car into a skid and slid across the centre line.
Angus: "The first three riders managed to get past, the next three got hit and the four after that, we just managed to miss the car by swerving to the right. One had cut legs from glass coming off the car and I was right behind him. It missed me by feet."
Muller and Mark Ferguson, 46, partner of Rachael Dohrman who was at home in the Waitoa home the couple had almost finished renovating, died at the scene. Kay, 44, passed away in hospital four days later.
Floral tributes multiplied at the scene in the days after. A Swiss flag - acknowledgement of Muller's country of birth - was left at the site.
The flag has gone, Roger Wolfe tells the Herald, but we can identify the spot by a picture of Kay the family has left. We find the photograph half buried among month-old bouquets. She's on a yacht, dressed for the elements, fresh-faced and, yes, beautiful. Triathlons, mountain biking, road cycling; she wasn't one to let the grass grow beneath her.
The flag lies mostly hidden by foliage at the bottom of a ditch a metre away. We retrieve it, wedge it firmly into the fence wire. Muller's family later tell how a nephew sought it out for a tribute, how it came from a supporter at the rowing world champs at nearby Karapiro and how its owner refused to accept payment when he learned why it was wanted.
Wednesday 10am: The tiny wooden courthouse hasn't seen such clamour since who knows when? No hoodies, no swagger, no recidivists today.
Family and friends of those killed and media cram the old building to witness King plead guilty to three charges of careless driving causing death (she will be sentenced in February). Groomed blonde hair, red eyes, a hand clutching a handkerchief, she stands bereft in the dock, her family huddle nearby. Ordinary people in the best sense of the word.
Her lawyer reads her statement of regret and apology. "I hate myself for my part in this tragedy." She doesn't think she will drive again.
Her distressed family usher her away. The fault is hers but they are victims of the accident too.
Outside Roger and Gavin Wolfe tell media they accept her apology. Roger is hopeful something will come of this to make cycling safer. He's a farmer. He drives tractors on the roads. He'd like to see motorists treat cyclists as though they a tractors and if they can't pass with a metre and half clearance, wait until they can. "Tractors and cyclists go about the same speed," he says.
He mentions a mass ride to Parliament, planned for the April school holidays.
The friends are are helping one another as best they can. There are get-togethers which Angus likens to counselling sessions, and practical help such as baking and lawn mowing.
Rachael Dohrman isn't up to speaking but her mother says everyone needs to remember in the debate about cyclist safety that cyclists are motorists as well.
Belinda Muller and her mother, Nola, tell of the light their father and husband was to many, how he'd surprise Nola by bringing home travellers he'd met for a meal and conversation and how discovering cycling at age 51 gave the ageing soccer player a new lease on life.
"For 71, he had a terrific body," laughs Nola. They met aged 17 at a netball tournament (she there for the netball, he for the girls, she reckons) and had been together since. She shows the photo of their 50th wedding anniversary.
When all but the two smallest toes of Muller's left foot were amputated after an engineering workshop accident five years ago his main concern was whether he could ride again. As soon as he found he could he was off. "His cycling, I think, saved his sanity," says Nola.
At the end of each Sunday ride the Cream of the Country lingered at the Mullers' house for coffee, biscuits and banter. People enjoyed his company, says Nola. "Joie de vivre, that's what he had."
"They called Dad Our Great Leader," adds Belinda, manager of netball team the Magic.
Muller introduced his daughter to cycling. When he entered his first fun race - the 125km Hamilton to Whangamata - nearly 20 years ago, Belinda decided to do it too. "Dad and I were the crazy ones," she says, "Him with his soccer and running and then cycling; me with running, then body building and now cycling again."
She nominated her father as her role model for a brief bio each member of the Magic has done for the team's website.
Willy Muller died the day after his daughter's 47th birthday. Rather than put her off cycling, she has got back on the bike and intends to take her father's place come March in the three-day Tour of Northland. It's her way of honouring her father's zest for life.
The police told the court that the Cream of the Country group had a reputation as safe riders. Muller instructed his daughter on bike road craft, warning of the dangers of parked cars (sudden door opening), diagonal railway lines (wheels can get caught), painted markings on the road (slippery when wet) and, of course, motorists.
"He'd had a few close shaves with cars where he'd had to head for the footpath," says Nola. "And they'd had times where they had to complain at the police station because they would be on an empty road and a vehicle would come along and nudge them, just for fun - try to push them into the long grass."
"I do believe a lot of this is psychological. Anything that is smaller than you doesn't matter."
TUESDAY NIGHT and the Morrinsville Wheelers, a club for serious riders, are holding a race in its evening summer series. Sixty riders aged seven to 73, across several grades.
It starts and finishes at the Mangateparu Hall, built in 1917. "Effort Brings Reward", says the inscription above the double doors. Apt for cycling. Inside, trestle tables are loaded with plates of boiled eggs, pavs, trifles, and barbecue fare as club stalwart Bev May announces the results.
Club man John Blake, a youthful 65, reckons helmets can be a barrier between cyclist and motorist. "They don't see a human being. They see you all geared up in combat gear."
Ask about the reaction of the wider community to the deaths and Blake says: "I think people expect cyclists to get knocked off."
Hasn't anyone who has ridden any length of time got a story? He gestures to his lower leg which is missing most of its calf muscle. Hit in 1991, part of the car's body work scythed through the leg, taking part of the bone too.
The Morrinsville victims
- Mark Andrew Ferguson, 46, Waihou
Died in the Morrinsville tragedy.
- Wilhelm Muller, 71, Morrinsville
Third victim of the Morrinsville crash.
- Kay Heather Wolfe, 45, Gordonton
Died four days after the tragedy.
Tragedy on an ordinary day
Just over a month ago, three members of a social cycling group were killed by a driver near Morrinsville. The Weekend Herald talks to family members about that fateful November day, and the legacies of the loved ones they have lost.
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