Tragedy for girl who wanted to save lives

Ella and Darius Menartowicz feel the system failed Monika, who was a bubbly girl before becoming sick. Photos / Herald on Sunday, supplied

Fourteen-year-old Monika Menartowicz wanted to be a heart surgeon so she could save lives - but doctors couldn't save this young girl from her own tragedy.

Three times, Auckland police picked up Monika Menartowicz from railway lines or motorway overbridges and took her home. The fourth time, it was her body that they found by Orakei train station.

Auckland District Health Board has ordered a review into the events leading to the schoolgirl's death on February 16.

Her grieving parents, Darius and Ela Menartowicz, say their pleas for help in the preceding months were ignored by mental health workers.

Their daughter felt bullied, she was depressed, she had been overdosing on whatever drugs she could find and cutting herself with pencil sharpeners - but health workers would send her home from hospital despite her parents' concerns.

"She was crying out for help," says Darius. "But that was all brushed away. We were told she had a behavioural problem, that she was attention seeking."

Monika's death comes a year after North Shore teenager Toran Henry, 17, died in the garage of his mother's house. He had been referred to the youth mental health outpatient facility at North Shore Hospital following a self-harm attempt.

Darius and Ela say Monika, too, had a year-long history of self-harm that meant she needed to be admitted to hospital.

Before Monika became unwell she was a competitive swimmer and enjoyed playing water polo and spending time with her friends. Her parents say she was creative and liked writing stories: "If you really think about it, life is short," she wrote in a school project. "You need to live it to the full, so that is what I am going to do."

But about a year ago, Darius and Ela were alerted to problems by a counsellor at Baradene College, where she was attending school. Their daughter had been upset because of a fight with one of her friends, but would not open up to her parents about it.

"One day she was a bubbly girl and the next she was having these terrible thoughts about killing herself," says Darius. The couple found letters littered around her bedroom, outlining how she wanted to take her own life.

Ela adds: "We needed to keep an eye on her all the time. I was sleeping in her room, I couldn't leave her alone."

Monika was referred for counselling to the Kari Centre at Green Lane Hospital, which provides services for children and adolescents with mental health problems.

A psychiatrist there reported that Monika was emotionally unstable, and said there had been a "significant increase in her deliberate self-harm and threats to kill herself" - several involving police. There was an "ongoing risk".

Then in September last year, she was admitted to the Child and Family Unit (CFU) at Starship Children's Hospital for three weeks, after being found sitting on the Greenlane motorway overbridge, 5m above the busy traffic.

At one point, she threatened in an online forum to take a gun to school and shoot students and police, before turning the gun on herself.

And in October, she wrote she was planning to leave home and end her life by either throwing herself in front of a train or stabbing herself with a kitchen knife. Police found her walking on the railway line at Meadowbank, carrying a kitchen knife, and she was again admitted to the CFU - but discharged five days later.

The CFU's follow-up plan for Monika included a new school, and sessions with a therapist at the Kari Centre. If her behaviour deteriorated, rather than admitting her to CFU again, the doctor suggested getting Child Youth and Family involved.

But Darius and Ela say they tried repeatedly to have Monika admitted to a mental health facility long term, terrified of what she would do if she was allowed to return home.

"I wanted to get her committed," her father says. "The hospital would send her home and I would say to them I wanted her to stay longer and get to the bottom of this, but they kept saying it wasn't in her best interests. They said she needed to get home and see a counsellor on a regular basis."

Each time she ran away from home, intent on ending her life, she would text a friend or Lifeline and tell someone what she was planning.

The last letter Darius and Ela received from the Kari Centre was six days before Monika died.

It stated: "Overall we feel that Monika has improved and is having longer periods without any episodes of deliberate self-harm."

A trial period without antidepressants was appropriate to allow "the individual and parent work to be the mainstay of treatment", it said.

On February 16, Ela dropped her daughter off at school as usual.

"I gave her some money in case anything happened and I couldn't get there to pick her up and she had to take the bus. She got out of the car and said goodbye and I left her at school."

Ela went to pick her up at the end of the day and, while she was waiting, the school counsellor called her cellphone, asking why Monika had not been at school.

"Then my husband rang me and said the police were at home. I thought they must have picked her up again, I had no idea ...

"I got there and they said they had identified Monika by the name tags on her school uniform."

Monika's death has left her parents heartbroken and angry.

"No one had enough time for her. It feels like someone hasn't done their job," says her mother.

Darius says he hears every train that goes past. "The system has failed Monika, they didn't do enough."

* Earlier deaths

July 2008: Young mother Nicole Maconaghie, 34, died in a deliberately lit house fire, less than 12 hours after being released from full-time mental healthcare against her family's wishes.

March 2008: Takapuna Grammar School student Toran Henry, 17, found dead in the garage of his mother's house. He had been referred to North Shore Hospital outpatient services.

March 2008: The body of IT consultant Finn Higgins, 26, was found in Wellington. His family had twice tried to have him committed under the Mental Health Act.

December 2007: Social worker Brenda Moore, 42, died at Waikato Hospital, after going missing from the unit to which she had been committed.

December 2007: Legal executive Janine Fraser, 25, died a day after her release from a psychiatric community respite house. She had begged her family to admit her to hospital.