Time to stop the hatred, says September 11 widow

28 Dec, 2001 12:14 PM3 mins to read

By REBECCA WALSH

Kimi Beaven is driving down a California freeway. A love song plays and she starts crying.

It is less than four months since her husband, New Zealander Alan Beaven, died when the hijacked plane he was on crashed on September 11, killing all on board.

The loss is still raw. But Mrs Beaven is determined to learn from the events of that day and hopes that next year a peaceful solution to today's conflict can be found.

"I really hope that as a world community we can come together and stop the hatred that has created what took place on September 11.

"It's going to take all of us - all the countries, all walks of life, all of humanity and say 'enough already'."

Mr Beaven, a 48-year-old lawyer educated at Auckland University, was one of 45 people on United Airlines Flight 93, which was taken over by terrorists and crashed near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

The father of three was among a group of passengers who fought back - something his family are proud of.

The day before he took the flight, the couple celebrated their eighth wedding anniversary.

In the months since the tragedy, Mrs Beaven has started "educating" herself on conflicts around the world and "how we got to where we are".

"For me it's a wake-up call of not living in my safe little bubble. These things I think don't affect me, have. They are my issues. Ultimately they took my husband's life."

She is pouring her energy into getting back into the routine of life for five-year-old daughter Sonali, and stepsons John and Chris from Alan's first marriage.

"It is harder because the shock of it all is wearing off and the reality of our life without Alan is becoming more apparent."

The family spent Christmas at home in California with friends and family and, though it was hard without their husband, father and friend, "we felt his presence", Mrs Beaven said.

"It was a horrible blow to lose Alan," she said. "He was really the centre of our lives and we miss him with every breath we take.

"Alan was such an optimist, so committed to gratitude and goodness. That's the best way we can honour him, to celebrate what he gave us."

Mrs Beaven said the outpouring of love from Americans and from as far away as New Zealand had been "unbelievable".

The family had received many letters and a traditional, woven Maori basket from New Zealand. One day they planned a visit.

"Alan had always dreamed of bringing us there," she said. "He loved New Zealand so much. Part of the beauty of Alan was he grew up in such a beautiful place with beautiful people and that really shaped him.

"He always wanted to share it with us. We'll definitely come there one day."

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