"I'm only young and eventually want to travel overseas and have a family and kids of my own.
"But wherever I am, I know that some day I'm going to have to come back to fight to keep my brother's killer in jail."
Sarah's emotional outpouring came at a conference yesterday marking the 10th anniversary of the Sensible Sentencing Trust.
About 120 people representing 50 families affected by some of the country's most shocking and high-profile murders gathered at the Dunes Hotel on Waiheke Island to share their harrowing stories for the first time.
They were there to support each other and send a powerful message to politicians and law-makers in the run-up to next month's general election, including calling for improved rights for victims, the introduction of consecutive sentencing and an end to parole for violent offenders.
Aucklander Dean Browne was 38 when he was slain in Wellington in January last year and dumped in a garage by two young thugs who called themselves the Killer Clowns. In July this year, the men were each jailed for 18 years. Another member of the gang was found not guilty of the murder.
Browne's mother and stepfather have said they are satisfied with the sentences. But Faye and Ron Bishop are angry at the killers' lack of remorse and feel politicians should listen more carefully to the plight of victims' families.
"On January 21 last year our son was smashed over the head with a couple of hammers," Bishop told yesterday's packed conference.
"We were never able to see our son because his injuries were so bad and all we received back were his ashes. I'm sure the reaction of politicians would be different if they went through what we and so many others have."
Charlie Borrell's son Augustine, a 17-year-old Auckland Grammar School student, was stabbed to death on September 8, 2007.
Haiden Mark Davis, 20, was given a life sentence with a minimum term of 10 years for the killing during a confrontation in the inner-city suburb of Herne Bay.
"My son was murdered on the day the All Blacks played France in their first game of the last World Cup," Charlie said. "So this World Cup was a sort of semi-happy time because we won it.
"But Augustine was murdered by a guy who was on bail for another serious offence. Earlier this year he appealed his conviction, which was thrown out and he's now going to the Supreme Court to try to appeal his conviction.
"So we are still going through the emotional rollercoaster ride four years later."
Kelly Pigott's 6-year-old daughter Teresa Cormack was abducted, raped and murdered by paedophile Jules Mikus in June 1987. "She was buried in a shallow grave on Whirinaki Beach," Kelly told the hushed audience.
"The murderer has just appealed but without new evidence - and he had none - why was he given any leave to do so? The cost of this should come out of his pocket; he has wasted too much time and money of ours."
Pam Wadsworth's 17-year-old daughter Jayne McLellan was raped and killed 23 years ago by Andrew MacMillan, who was given life behind bars.
"At the time it was described as the worst murder in New Zealand for 100 years," Pam said. "She went out with him for one night and never came home. He bit off one nipple, bit a chunk out of her arm, slashed the inside of her thigh and rammed a stone down her throat to stop her screaming.
"While she was fighting for her life he knelt on her and cut her. But not satisfied with that, he smashed a concrete post down on the left side of her face." Pam added: "The monster who did this has told the parole board he apologised to me, which he didn't. My next step is to write a submission. I'll get him."
Lesley Elliott, mother of murdered Dunedin student Sophie Elliott, believes that her daughter's ex-boyfriend and killer Clayton Weatherston will still be a threat to women if he is released.
Weatherston was jailed for life in September 2009 for stabbing Sophie to death in a frenzied attack.
"He is a very dangerous man who should never be let out of prison," Lesley said.
"It is coming to events like this that makes you realise that there might be a lot of heartache still in front of us but if we can help support other people who have suffered similar tragedies then it is something I will continue to do.
"Sadly, this is a club that grows in number just that little bit more each year."
Victims' families want support
Grieving families feel betrayed by the lack of support they get from the criminal justice system, academic research reveals.
Victoria University senior research fellow Venezia Kingi was commissioned by Victim Support to interview almost 40 family members of murder victims.
Kingi found the families felt "disempowered" by the system and that it had left them alienated.
The study came ahead of the Sensible Sentencing Trust's 10th annual meeting this weekend.
The focus of the meeting was on the pain felt by its members not those who created the pain, said spokesman Garth McVicar.
As the election approaches, the group was putting fresh effort into getting better rights for families of murder victims.
"When we started 10 years ago, victims had very few rights within the system but now that's all changing," McVicar said.
However, cumulative rather concurrent sentences for killers was also high on the agenda.
"Most of our families have loved ones who were the victim of recidivist offenders," McVicar said.
"When someone is sentenced to life in prison, the victims' families think that it means just that and comes as a shock to them when they find out that may not be the case."
russell.blackstock@hos.co.nz
