The tragic death of Sophia Crestani: A family reflects a year after Dunedin uni party house horror

Sophia Crestani died at a party in a Dunedin house a year ago. Photo / supplied

The knock on the door, the police standing there, the words that turned their lives upside down forever - things the family of Sophia Crestani will never forget.

And a year on the loss of the beautiful, talented, loving and loved teenager is still haunting her parents and twin sister.

Sophia Michelle McMillan Crestani, 19, died on October 6 last year while at attending a party at a Dunedin flat.

The night Sophia died hundreds of people were crammed into the Dundas St flat - a 114-year-old villa known as "The Manor".

The event had been hyped as the last party at the address before it was taken over by the university.

As the number of attendees reached more than 300, the tenants called police for help to shut down the party as it raged out of control.

Panicked students stampeded out of the house and Sophia was crushed on the staircase.

It was only after police arrived and cleared the path that rescuers were able to get to Sophia, but she could not be resuscitated.

Sophia Crestani's parents have spoken out about their "beautiful" girl a year after she died. Photo / supplied

Her parents Elspeth McMillan and Bede Crestani spoke to the Herald about the
tragedy, and the year that followed the loss of their beloved daughter - a twin sister to Frances.

"It has been really tough," McMillan said.

"Nothing prepares you for the loss of your child, your sister, your twin, especially when
they are 19 years old and blossoming into this beautiful young woman with so much life and potential ahead of her; gone.

"We really feel for Frances - they were very close and she has lost so much, her best friend, her confidante and defender."

Sophia had moved from her hometown in Wellington to study mathematics and statistics at the University of Otago.

She was close to her family, who miss her every day.

Sophia with her parents at the Queen Margaret College Year 13 Ball in June 2017. Photo / supplied by Crestani family

McMillan said she missed Sophia's "ready, lilting laugh and her beautiful smile" and phone calls home the most.

"She was always so bubbly and happy," she said.

"Her presence, her cuddles. When I look back at photos she is almost always tucked in beside me."

Crestani said his daughter's wisdom and maturity was a big loss for him.

"She had a way of teaching us a lesson when she had a different view," he explained.

"We usually came away thinking she was right, and we were impressed with how she did it. We had a lot to learn from her.

"Our family and her friends also feel the loss and we worry for them."

The loss of "so much potential" also pained Sophia's grieving parents.

They described her as "a bright young woman who had so much to give and experience in this world".

University of Otago Sophia Crestani died at a party at a flat in October 2019. Photos / NZME / Supplied

Instead of giving what she had - everything was taken.

The "senselessness" of how Sophia died was hard to comprehend.

"She went to a party to have a good time and be with friends and she died," her mother said.

"That's not right and she will miss out on 60-plus years of life. It's devastating to the core to lose her."

The family are starting to cope better, but still struggle at times.

"Time makes it more real and the senseless loss harder to accept," McMillan said.

"I will never completely accept it and will always keep a flicker of hope in my heart that she will come back to us."

Crestani added: "It's no easier, but we have support from family, friends, work and that care makes it possible to carry on."

Sophia's family plan to mark the anniversary of her death quietly.

Together with members of their extended family McMillan, Crestani and Frances will visit Sophia's grave and then return home to share food and memories of "our beautiful girl".

While the unfathomable tragedy continues to hurt them in ways most people could never imagine, Sophia's family say there are positives that followed her death.

In July this year the family and Otago University launched The Sophia Charter, designed to enhance the safety and wellbeing of the student community in Dunedin.

The charter is a shared commitment from Dunedin stakeholders, including the university, police, Fire and Emergency New Zealand, Otago Property Investors Association, the Dunedin City Council and the Otago University Students' Association.

University of Otago Sophia Crestani died at a party at a flat in October 2019. Photo / NZME

The family have also established a scholarships in Sophia's name at the university.

The Sophia Michelle McMillan Crestani Scholarship is for a female second-year student studying mathematics and/or statistics, which the late teen excelled at from an early age.

"We want to see real change and more has been achieved than we could ever have hoped for," McMillan said.

"The Sophia Charter is a living document with the partners working closely together and has resulted in lots of change.

"Some students were planning a street party, and after meeting with the partners, they decided not to go ahead.

"That's real courage and extraordinary from these young people."

The family said alongside the charter, the Otago UniCrew student volunteers organised another North Dunedin street clean-up on their own initiative.

Property investors are working on some significant change and police, the university, council and emergency services were working hard to educate students about the risks associated with large parties.

"It's really impressive and really heartening to see everyone working together to keep students and the North Dunedin community safe and a better place to live," said McMillan.

"We are not angry, but we don't want this tragic loss to be in vain. We do want to see change, and we have.

"We are heartened by the good that is coming out of this tragic situation.

"We are very proud of what has been achieved through the collaboration of the partners to the Sophia Charter… We are also very thankful for the generosity of so many individuals
and organisations in donating to the Sophia Michelle McMillan Crestani Scholarship."

The scholarship has reached its endowment target and will be in perpetuity from next year.

"A second scholarship has been started in Sophia's name for a second-year female student studying any subject, which is making good progress, with $15,000 more needed to make it a scholarship in perpetuity as well," McMillan said.

Sophia Crestani died at a party in a Dunedin house a year ago. Photo / supplied

"The generosity of people we do not know, businesses, friends, family, colleagues and others is a tangible way that shows how much they care.

"These scholarships will make a tangible and positive difference for future female students."

The family are also proud that Queen Margaret College, Sophia's old school, is instigating an annual award in her name for the qualities of generosity as demonstrated through kindness, sparkle and creativity.

"Many of Sophia's friends and family have contributed to a student instigated memorial seat for Sophia which is being installed in front of the university clock tower under a beautiful cherry tree. We are looking forward to spending time there, looking out across the Leith river and reflecting on all that Sophia loved about her time in Dunedin," her mother said.

"I'm sure Sophia would mind blown but also very proud of what has been achieved in her name and the difference that will be made in her name for other Otago University students."

McMillan and Crestani said their family had received "amazing" support over the agonising past 12 months.

"Including messages of condolence from people and parents we don't even know who have been affected by this tragic accident and have wanted to support what we are trying to achieve through the Sophia Charter and scholarships," McMillan said.

"The support we have had has given us the strength to get up every day, wipe away our tears and continue to do whatever we can to support students to keep themselves, their friends and their community safe so that no other parent has to experience that gut-wrenching knock on the door that turns your world upside down forever."

McMillan hoped people remembered her daughter as she was before she died - a promising and special young woman.

"I want people to remember Sophia as the beautiful spirit that she was," she said.

"Her warmth, her smile, her creativity and her kind and caring nature - a beautiful wahine toa with her own spectrum of light."

• If you want to donate to the second scholarship in Sophia's name to ensure other young female students can benefit from her legacy, CLICK HERE